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Fadzayi Maposah-Correspondent
“Munhu haagumi kuzvara”, loosely translated means that one continues bearing children.
It may not make sense considering that all people have biological clocks and at some point it becomes impossible to have children.
With the advent of technology, it may be possible for sometime to assist the biological clock but there definitely comes a time when one has to concede that bearing children is no longer possible.
It is especially so for women. When one has reached menopause they cannot be mothers biologically. There are so many ways in which one can become a parent.
One can opt to adopt and just take care of an identified child. My daughters are fairly grown up now. The youngest will be 18 soon.
While she is excited about turning 18, I am a bit apprehensive about my baby growing up.
She will always be my baby.
There are moments that she takes advantage of being the baby in the family and at sometimes I think she takes advantage of us so that we ‘baby’ her all the way.
In some instances, she wants to be treated as a woman who is coming of age!
Realising that my daughters are growing up fast, I continue to create relationships with other people.
When children are small they teach an individual patience. One can spend a whole hour answering one question that is followed by many whys.
As one answers it is followed by a why.
It is only when the children are grown up that one at times realises that when they were younger, the parent was also younger and the level of patience was low.
When one has matured, he or she usually lives in an empty nest and the large volumes of patience are at times left unutilised. The contradictions in life, the ironies of life…
Now I have shifted my patience to my peers since we spend considerable time together!
Some of the things that our culture encourages are actually good for our relationships.
Maybe we miss out because we want tried and tested theories put in large academic volumes so that we consider it “learned”.
I guess that is where we are missing out on valuable lessons as we fail to acknowledge the power of oral tradition.
When we were growing up, we always used to hear that no two women can cook from the same kitchen.
It was and it still is encouraged that mother and daughter in laws should not share the same kitchen. When we heard this issue we used to think it was because of greediness.
I have realised that many females in one kitchen or around a cooking fire is tantamount to brewing a disaster.
As soon as one starts stirring a pot, the other females will comment that she could have stirred the other way or was using a wrong wooden spoon!
One woman I know is taking care of a few children. Her own biological children are grown up. She has during in term time to ensure she is up early for the school run.
A few days after schools closed last week, she called me in distress. Now when I heard the panicky voice, I did my best to calm her, fearing that she could seriously affect her health and many would be affected.
She then shared her story.
One of her nieces had experienced a menstrual debut and there was no trace of sanitary ware in the house.
It was getting dark. She had left her car at the motor mechanic as it had developed some strange sound that she did not understand.
Now this news that the eldest of the girls she stayed with had begun `mooning` was stressful to say the least.
Was it possible that she could call so I would talk to the menstruation debutant that it was fine for her to use toilet tissue until they bought sanitary ware in the morning?
Her female relative would listen to me, she said. She seemed so sure.
I told her I had a better plan. She was relieved to hear that. I asked her to walk from her house so that we could meet in the road and I would share the idea.
I knew that she was desperate when she did not argue. She was at her wits’ end.
Surprisingly she did not mention that it was getting dark. I walked out of the gate to meet my relative in distress. Ten minutes passed and I saw her walking fast towards me. Her hug was rather clingy. I patted her gently on her back.
“My dear sister, I can no longer relate to menstruation . Where exactly do I start? What is your idea?”
I was bombarded by questions. I looked at her with a smile. She shrugged her shoulders and stared at me.
“Relax,” I said calmly and then handed her the plastic bag I had. She looked at the contents and exclaimed “Fadzi!”` My name had a ring of relief when she said it.
“It is good to have a friend who has not yet reached menopause!” That made me laugh.
I had put two packs of sanitary pads in the plastic bag. The young girl could make do with my choice before they went shopping for sanitary pads in the morning.
As we parted our ways, I turned and saw her walk back home. There was a spring in her step and I was certain she was humming a melodious tune! Menopause or no menopause, it is always advisable to keep sanitary pads in the house.
This long weekend, get a pack or two, one of your female visitors may join the menstruation train at your home!
Online Reporter