adminmine and make it known to you. All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you.”
The message that came through for me was the oneness of the Father and the Son, more like if you have seen Me you have seen the Father.
I thought to myself how many parents could say that about their children not in terms of physical appearance but behaviour and values that they exude.
It appears that there is a gap between what parents expect of their children and what the children present.
We often hear adults talk about the behaviour of children with most people thinking they have gone wild.
Adults think that today’s generation of children has gone wild, as their lifestyle appears to be well out of this world.
They do not fancy to work especially doing domestic chores, they talk back at adults, they are less respectful, they like to party and they are anti-social because they rather be chatting on some social network than talk to the parent.
I believe that this is true with every generation. Those that have graduated to adulthood look at those younger than them as wild.
During our time as young adults we used to hear elders say “vana vemazuva ano havateeri kana havana hunhu” (children of today are disobedient or ill mannered).
I think my contemporaries agree that during our days it was the same story that our fathers, mothers and grandparents recited.
I recall my father detested our kind of music, my uncle resented natural dreadlocks or the not-so-combed hair and my grandmother was concerned by our failure to grind mealie-meal with the grinding stone (kukuya).
This means that if I could not grind mealie-meal using a grinding stone my daughter is worse off.
I read with interest what Rumbidzai Nderere, a Lifestyle Reporter wrote: “The youths have a right to be taught our tradition where we are from. The only way culture can be preserved is if there are people to pass it on.”
What this implies is that what my children do not know means that I have not taught them. If I did teach them then it be could be that I did it without the diligence that it required or the recipients were not keen to learn.
As Rumbidzai contends adults have a responsibility to teach children things that they need to know.
As the Bible says in Prov. 22:6 (NIV), “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Yes parents/adults have a responsibility to teach and support the child in its development process. We are the first ones to stimulate verbal, visual and motor skills in our children.
We hear “amira mira nhana asarakufamba! (the baby has stood up and now what remains is to walk).
These are the words of a parent encouraging a child who has achieved a milestone in the development stage that of managing to stand up and balance on his/her feet.
The next thing you hear is dhee! dhee! nhana dhee! (the idiophone describing the rhythm of each step a child takes).
These are words of a parent encouraging a child to take another step after the other so he/she can walk. Every step of the way there is celebration when the child masters the art of talking, standing, walking and so forth because the child would have achieved some degree of empowerment necessary for survival.
It has been observed that unlike other species that rely on instinct, a human infant depends on learned behaviour for survival.
Haralambos, a social scientist, observed that a child learns behaviour from its social environment that is the home, the playground, school and community.
As such, from childhood, the infant is socialised into its culture through acquiring values and knowledge on acceptable and unacceptable behaviour patterns.
Parents/adults also have a role of moulding the child into a responsible adult or citizen.
Dr Faraque observes that, “Home is the first school a child attends and the parents are the instructors. The child learns lessons, which guide him/her throughout life. The subjects learnt are respect, obedience, reverence for God, self control, thoughtfulness, patience and kindness.”
If we consider the level of social deviance of young adults can we say parents have failed as role models? We hear of children committing murder, juveniles raping young girls and young adults up for fraud. Could it be that the parents fall short on their role to inculcate values in the children?
In my view the environment that we live in now presents a serious parenting challenge. As stated earlier a child learns behaviour from its environment that is the home and the playground with the playground representing everything outside the home.
I am convinced that the playground has become more sophisticated than before. It is globalised through information communication technology such that children are exposed to various cultures and subcultures of this village.
In yesteryears it was much better because children spent time playing house and all sorts of games from “Hwai hwai huyai,” “Vana vangu vapera nechinhu chiri mugomo,” “Nhodo,” “Pote pote zangariyanda” and many others that you can recall.
Nowadays it is the video games where kids experience driving and bashing cars, shooting with guns and seeing their targets die.
We have music, the Internet with pornographic material and the television with the Hollywood culture that distorts the meanings of love, life, power and glorifies materialism. Some of these things have a spiritual dimension to them.
In this environment parents are under pressure to sustain lifestyles or make a living so they work more. They race for higher education to be competitive and spend more time on social and church activities.
They leave children alone or to the television or with domestic helpers.
Thus reducing the degree of influence a parent has on the child.
There we are parents, what is the way forward?
I believe there is need to turn to the Bible which is a moral authority on the upbringing of children.
Among other scriptures, Deut 6:6-7 urges diligence in raising up children.
Online Reporter
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