adminTeen dating is every parent’s fear one parent had this to say: “I am afraid for my little girl if she starts dating at a young age who knows she might get unfortunate and get the kind of boys who might lead her astray.”
Dating is not for teens, normally they are naïve and emotionally weak. As a result it increases the risk of divided attention, they then tend to be so much engrossed in the relationship that concentration at school is reduced.
Teens are also vulnerable and they cannot handle the pressures of relationships well.
Mostly for girls, it ceases to be a relationship but rather it becomes a one-sided thing and they are manipulated in the name of a relationship. And violence also becomes an issue.
According to the Centre for Disease Control, 9,4 percent of teens reported being physically abused by a romantic partner that included being slapped, hit or intentionally injured.
There is also evidence that adolescents who experience violence in early relationships are more vulnerable to being abused again, and indeed the latest study on the issue published in the journal “Pediatrics” shows that teens who experienced aggression from a romantic partner between the ages of 12 and 18 were up to three times as likely to be re-victimised in relationships as young adults.
Teens have different takes on the issue of relationships but overall they agree that dating is for older and mature people.
“Teen dating is bad because a lot of people do it for the wrong reasons, its not beneficial, its all about peer pressure and everyone is doing it so that you don’t feel left out”, Tino Negomo said.
“The thing with most teens nowadays is that they want to imitate what they see on television like the much-publicised Justin Bieber- Selena Gomez relationship so they tend to imitate that”, she added.
Another teen, Tendai Nevanji, also alluded to this, “most teens who are in relationships don’t even know what it is they are doing they just get in the relationship because their friends are doing it. I really wish if each and everyone is principled enough to desist from peer pressure because you won’t be living your life but rather someone else’s.”
Desmond Shumba, another teen, had a different take on the case of dating. “Dating is OK, I don’t see anything bad with dating because you feel loved, at times you might have some issues at home and you just want someone to talk to and someone who makes you feel important.”
It is also very important for parents to know what their children are up to for example the type of friends that their child hangs around with. Most parents just say that their children are too young to date but they don’t even know, how young is too young?
Dr Phil says that teenagers, especially younger pre-teens, don’t need to have boyfriends and girlfriends.
Still, he knows that young relationships do form he said: “Teenagers shouldn’t have serious dating relationships.
“No 14-year-old needs to have an intense boyfriend or girlfriend. Encourage group dates supervised by an adult.”
Parents must encourage open communication with their teenage children.
The more conversations you have, the less likely he/she will get into trouble.
If you’ve always kept the door open for discussions, your child will be more likely to come to you with questions or problems.
If you’re too oppressive and restrictive, you are guaranteeing rebellion. Use logic and reason when creating rules for your teenager.
Don’t just forbid certain activities, explain why you forbid them. This way it will help your teenager understand that you’re not merely trying to be bossy or imposing arbitrary rules.
As a parent, it’s your job to teach your teenager the importance of self-worth. Teenagers who value themselves as they are won’t need to “find themselves” in other people.
Online Reporter