Petty things that seperate women

recognise the role and contribution of all women to society.
A woman is indeed a rare species. She is the glue that keeps families together and the Shona elders in their wisdom declared that “Musha mukadzi” (a woman makes the home). She can be resilient, show sympathy, empathy, and sacrifice. In her own way she is endowed with beauty that both physical and inner beauty.
A woman is easily moved because as has been said she sees with her heart and feels with her eyes. This means that she has emotional intelligence and can walk and cry with you. The fortunate thing is that society expects the girl to cry so she is free to express her deep emotions.
A woman can do anything even the humblest of tasks just to fend for the family. I think readers who are my contemporaries recall the sacrifices of their mothers. Some mothers weeded other people’s fields to get food or money for school fees. Though it was difficult women such as these understood the dignity of decent work.
Women can endure life in an abusive marriage where the relationship has since broken down because society expects her to. Also it is because she has no resources of her own to make a choice and like a man exercise control over her life. At times she does it to protect her children so she stays put for the children and her song is “ndinogarira vana vangu”
While the man rules over her as decreed by God, the woman has controlling power which she exercises in very subtle ways. Imagine harnessing such power and influence for the good of our communities and the world. Books have been written about the power of a praying wife and praying mother. Just ponder over the impact wives and mothers who unite to pray against errand husbands and deviant children, peace and restoration would have. Think of what a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law could do for the family if they work together. In my view they would turn tables upside down. Consider the impact sisters would have in families, churches and work places. Think of how linkages, networks and groups could mean to the economic empowerment initiatives introduced by Government and development partners.
I think we all know that gender equality is part of the world development agenda. A lot has been said about discrimination against women in education, ownership of productive assets and decision making. One of the arguments that have been advanced is that women lack access to information. They have no networks that help to enhance their access to economic opportunity. These challenges are often attributed to social and cultural factors.
Yes, to an extent women have failed to realise their potential because they are discriminated against and also their response to opportunities is subdued by cultural beliefs. I, however, want to think that sometimes women can be their worst enemies. How do women handle information about simple things like a recipe, a hairdo and pattern of dress? How many times have you received vague answers to inquiries about some of the things above? Usually the answer that comes is “ha ndinongosanganisa sanganisa zvinhu” (I just mix this and that). This makes you wonder, if she can hide such simple information how can she be an effective member of a business network?
There are things that women do that tend to leak a lot of energy that could be harnessed for common good. Women are divided by attitudes, preferences, behaviour, perceptions and social classes among other factors. As a result so much energy is spent on trivial issues. The world also associates women with such things as gossip, envy, jealous, witchcraft, meanness and cruelty often depicted in step-mother and step child relationships.
Have you ever thought of the rivalry common between mother and daughter in law? This is one of the most talked about relationship. There can be so much resentment and also very high and at times heartless expectations which help to strain the relationship. Is the rivalry necessary considering that each one of them has a distinct and complimentary relationship with the man in question (son/husband)?
Sometimes the struggles do not end there they encroach on to the sister-in-laws (maiguru namainini). Often such differences end up splitting families into camps. I have seen that competition between these big girls and envy tends to create problems between and among them. I will not talk about the way woman jostle and elbow each other out of love relationships.
As the biblical Solomon says all this is vanity. I have heard stories about reconciliations that come at the ninth hour. While such reconciliation is always good, it is really sad because very often the parties involved are old. They would have wasted prime time and energy to combine forces and work together for their well-being and the common good.
Just think of the productive hours that would have been lost gossiping about each other and also pulling each other down. How about all that time wasted watching and waiting to see where the next person falters?
Think about those negative things that you are doing? Do they really add value to your life or they narrow your thinking and limit what you can do.
My fellow sisters reflect upon your actions, reactions and attitudes to another woman. The then Minister of Labour, Honourable Florence Chitauro once said she could stand being discriminated against by a man but could not understand the attitude of a woman to another. What this means is that women should work to break the barriers that separate them; those things that seem so trivial but have far reaching consequences.