daniel chigunwe
Laina Makuzha
LOVE by DESIGN
The year 2023 has been a challenging one for many relationships as witnessed in some of the reports we see in the media and experiences all around us, if not in our own homes. In a world marked by uncertainty and turmoil, it is to be expected — challenges will come at some point.
However, amidst the difficulties, some have experienced a year of immense strides taking their relationships to another level. I can almost hear an “amen” from couples that tied the knot, or those that went for family introductions, or lobola negotiations in readiness for a new season in their love.
And yet for others it has taken resilience to keep the flame burning, while some have had to make tough decisions. Regardless of the reality you find yourself in, this week my hope is to inspire and motivate you to build on the positive aspects of your relationship together, address any challenges that impacted you,count your blessings and create a stronger bond moving forward.
Here are some suggestions to consider:
Reflect on the challenges:
As we navigate the complexities of life, it is essential to acknowledge that relationships, whether marital, aspiring, in love, or in search, can face hurdles. Some couples have experienced tremendous strain due to external circumstances, such as work pressures, financial challenges, or interference from relatives, who sometimes mean well, but sometimes can just be meddlesome and cause a mess. However, it is important to remember that with every challenge comes an opportunity for growth and improvement. Think about it, what you can turn around going into the new year? We will discuss this even more in future with your ideas and input.
Build on the good:
Even in the toughest of times, there are always moments of joy, love, and connection. Take a step back and reflect on the positive aspects of your relationship. Cherish those moments, capture them if you can. Whether it’s a small act of kindness, a shared laugh, or a heartfelt conversation, these building blocks of positivity can serve as a foundation for strengthening your bond. Intentionally focusing on the good can help create a more nurturing and fulfilling relationship.
Address the negatives
Granted, no relationship is perfect. It is therefore crucial to acknowledge and address any problem areas that may have influenced your connection. Take the time to evaluate such areas that need improvement. You can even decide to make it a fun exercise as a couple, openly communicating with your partner. Emphasise collaboration and teamwork, identifying mutual goals and solutions. Those that experience the most success in their relationships testify to the fact that overcoming challenges together helps relationships grow and flourish.
Count your blessings and free yourself from offence:
When all is said and done, count your blessings. I know it might sound like a cliché, but it truly sets you free from replaying the pain you may have endured. If working towards a healthier relationship, I suggest learning to let go of offence that may be stealing your joy. Holding onto resentment and dwelling on past hurts — as you may already know — can hinder the progress of your relationship. You might even know of examples where this has taken a toll on relationships. Practice forgiveness and choose understanding over judgement. By freeing yourself from the weight of offence, you create space for happiness and harmony to thrive.
Seek professional help in need
Sometimes, the challenges we face in our relationships require professional assistance. In this column I reiterate how there is no shame in reaching out when overwhelmed. There are couples’ therapists, relationship and marriage counsellors that can stand with you in bringing harmony to your life or at least helping you seek divine solutions. I shared a few names last week. These trained professionals can provide guidance, facilitate healthier communication patterns, and offer tools to navigate complex issues. Seeking help shows strength and determination to create a better future together.
Dear friends, in your marriages and relationships, I implore you this festive season, to consider embracing a fresh perspective. Think of how God has been good to you, how He has preserved you thus far. Share this love. Even if you think your partner doesn’t deserve it, show gratitude to God anyway, through kindness to your loved one and others.
Desist from the path of revenge for what went wrong in 2023 or trying to “fix” a partner for some wrong doing.
There are those people who just desert their families in this season, kungoita vanish for reasons known to them, while causing their partners untold heartache — only to resurface bonus yapera manje. Musadaro veduwee. That’s just not cool. Regardless of the difficulties or triumphs, the year 2023 has brought, couples can focus on “togetherness” in celebration or in working through any challenges. Count your blessings and work on creating the relationship you want, together.
Your thoughts and views are invaluable in this process of uplifting one another and improving relationships. Also reach out, if you need ideas for Christmas gifts,or how to pleasantly surprise your partner or trip ideas for happier holidays with your loved ones.
May this year’s Christmas and the whole festive season be a catalyst for positive change and a peaceful celebration of love, togetherness, and growth.
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