Restoring Family Relations

Kilton Moyo

Last week we were looking at how stable and good families solve conflicts. We were saying it is a characteristic of strong families to resolve conflicts at family level which really is a very good thing. We are in agreement however, that this skill or willingness lacks in many families these days. I want to suggest only one way of restoring family relations but before I do that let me just paint the picture of how broken relations are in most families.

I have said this in the past that the strategy of the Anti-Christ in these last days is to confuse marriage, family and the church. He attacks relations in these three godly institutions and when they are divided, they are easy to destroy.

You will agree with me there is so much breakdown in family relations these days. Of course there are millions of beautiful and strong families out there and I always celebrate God for them and pray they would have the capacity to reach out to those struggling and help. The break up in relations is reflected in the murder cases in families these days. The degree of jealousy, anger, hatred, bitterness, pride and a domineering attitude displayed in many families should bother and worry every peace-loving person. Do you realise that there is the same jealousy, anger, hatred, bitterness, pride and domineering attitude in the church? The spirit in the family is affecting the Body of Christ as a family. This is what the enemy likes. We see a breakup in relations through the desire for vengeance in the family where members seek to avenge themselves against their brothers and sisters. This has perpetuated a cycle of hatred in many families. Family sins have been passed from one generation to another. Family anger and hatred for others has been passed as an iniquity from one generation to another and some families have regarded such iniquity as the traditions of their forefathers.

I believe strongly that if we are sincere in our desires to build peaceful nations we must begin by restoring relations at family level. Family is the foundation of society and the foundation must be stable. It is in this view that I want to show you just this one thing that you can use to restore broken relations in your families. You must understand that God is concerned with serving individuals, families and the church. This is how he serves, saves and builds nations.

How then can we restore family relations?
Restoration comes through forgiveness.

Maybe you thought I needed to come up with something you have never heard of. The solutions to our afflictions lie in the things we have heard of, but we think they are of no value or too hard to do. The basic principle of life in dealing with humanity is forgiveness. In Mathew 18: 21-22, Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive an offending brother. He is probably looking for a mathematical or legalistic answer because he even suggests “seven times”. But Jesus offers a limitless response. Forgiveness is unlimited. It is not about how many times your brother sins against you. As long as you live, you forgive and must forgive. If we are going to rebuild the family and restore relations we must learn to forgive our people. We must learn to walk in forgiveness. We cannot love without forgiving. Family members are expected to love each other and to forgive and protect each other. It becomes devilish when family members fight and kill each other. No amount of wrong by your brother should drive you to murder. Infact it must drive you towards love and forgiveness. The challenge is when we want to remain macho and carnal when we are supposed to calm down and express God.

The need for reconciliation in most families cannot be over emphasised. There has been a lot of betrayal in many families. Parents betraying their children and children betraying families too. Many people are angry with each other in the family. Beloved, it should not be so. It cannot work like that. Family people must protect each other. You do not build family peace by hiding sin or not dealing with issues. Reconciliation comes when people sit down and talk, confess, forgive and move on and put their efforts in building one another as families. I pray for reconciliation between fathers and sons and their daughters. I pray for reconciliation between husbands and wives. I pray for reconciliation between families and between in-laws. I also pray for reconciliation between spiritual fathers and their sons. In many churches the divisions are horrible and satanic.

Reconciliation comes from forgiveness. Forgiveness comes from love. Love comes from God. If the family can embrace God, then we can build with God. In the year of Jubilee, according to Leviticus 25:10, there was the gathering of families. People returned to their families. There was a restoration of the family. There was a building of family unity. I believe that in these last days we are living in the Jubilee season of releasing liberty and therefore, the family must walk in this freedom for the manifestation of the kingdom of God. We cannot remain captive in our families. We are in the season of liberty in Christ.

My conviction is that we need to help the family restore itself so it can accomplish the will of God. We need to help the family strengthen itself in the face of an onslaught by the Anti-Christ and its agents. We need now to restore family relations for the sake of the future. Beloved, I repeat this for your benefit; we are in the last days.

The Anti-Christ is out against marriage, family and church. This is so he can scatter our offspring and turn them against our God. Restore relations now and build a form of a hedge of protection around your family. I am calling on fathers out there to take family seriously as their priority engagement. You have a duty and you cannot run from it.

God is there waiting for you and on you to bring that family to Him who is our hiding place and our ever present help in times of trouble.

Prioritise your family. Restore relations. Build your family. Protect your family. God bless all families in Africa today and may family leaders with ears hear what the Spirit is saying.

For more on this you can follow us on our blog @fruitfulmarriages.wordpress.com or find us on Facebook and on Twitter @fmarriages. You can also invite us to do seminars for you or talk to you as individual families. If you are in Harare, next Saturday we have a seminar for everyone preparing to get married. We are at the Redemption Ministries International auditorium, 20 Robert Mugabe and Harare Street. Call us for more details.

Kilton Moyo is the creator of Fruitful Marriages, a renewal and enrichment program and is a pastor, counsellor and author of The Sex Trap. Call or #WhatsApp on +263 775 337 207, +263 772 610 103 or [email protected] <mailto:[email protected]>