adminSuccessful solutions Qaphelani Mabhikwa
During this year’s Zimbabwe International Trade Fair (ZITF) my heart bled when I saw youths dead drunk causing mayhem in the Central Business District (CBD) in the name of freedom.
They stoned vehicles, shouted obscenities and hit any other young person they came across. I saw chaos, pandemonium and turmoil. I immediately asked myself WHY? I however again immediately told myself that most of these youths were not to blame; it was us the parents who were to blame.
We had let them be what they were now in the name of “love.” Most modern parents, especially the young parent “love” our children so much that, in one way or the other they are no longer our children, but our peers. We follow fuzzy feelings we call love to get our children anything they want, let them do as they wish. We avoid anything that disappoints them.
We can’t say “NO” to anything they ask for and we think happy children are good children … Oh what a misconception. We are busy moulding foolish children, children full of pride, laziness, rebellion and selfishness.
We have also grown to be afraid of our children because they have threatened us with legal action if we dare touch them. A friend of mine wanted to spank his son and the boy said “If you dare touch me, I will report you to the police.”
I told him that if my son had said that to me I would have immediately told him to leave my house and go stay with his new parents — the police. It’s baffling how some parents become so scared of their children. If you as a parent are scared of your child who then will discipline and give direction to the child?
We were relaxing in the recent past and a colleague got a call from his daughter, his phone was on speaker and we all heard what the child said, “Hey where are you, come home now it’s late, what are you still doing out there?”
I am not exaggerating. The man immediately left and went home. We cannot as parents have minor children threatening us and dictating to us how they want to lead their lives.
I personally think the world would be a better place, if parents obeyed Proverbs 13 v 24, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”
There is a very thin line between spanking and assault. Do not assault your child, you will then be arrested. When you discipline you use a rod that is age appropriate.
A rod is a slander stick perfect for stripes on the backs of foolish children (even adults).
Then chastening is the use of the rod to create those wisdom marks. Chastening must be made early when there is still hope for the child to be wise. Corporal punishment must not be an everyday thing otherwise it loses meaning.
It’s only done when it’s necessary and the child must know exactly why they are being punished. When they know they were in the wrong, you are friends with them again immediately after that punishment because they know that they were in the wrong. When need arises do it early and quickly —“betimes”.
Waiting too long makes the children hardened in foolishness and by then it’s too late and you administer it without positive results. Children develop differently but at a certain stage, especially in their mid to late teens you want to now develop a culture of dialogue with them, where you want to talk to them more than using the rod.
The infants would need a quick spank for things like foul language, some of which they pick at school, a quick spank for playing dangerously and destroying property in the house, a quick spank for answering back when you are cautioning them, a quick spank for disappearing into the neighbourhood and having to be looked for in the evening and a quick spank for throwing food away and declaring what they want to eat.
Telling the infants don’t do this is a waste of time, a quick spank will do the trick and they will not repeat anything they know they will be spanked for. You are thus moulding them. If you leave them, they will embarrass you, they will use foul language in public and summersault on people’s sofas when you have visited, all to your embarrassment.
Let’s not be brainwashed by educators, politicians, and the news media against corporal punishment. In America when a spoiled child walks into a school and opens gun fire killing children and teachers, the politicians say let’s control guns – a big NO — we need child control first — it’s not the guns that kill people it’s the children.
If we as parents want peace and joy in old age, let’s not leave children to themselves, they will shame us but constant reproof and spanking breeds responsible children.
Most parents who are living in grief today didn’t spank their children when it mattered most so as to have joy of them later.
As parents let’s love our children as God-given gifts and thrive to make them live Godly lives, let’s not be brain washed by educators, politicians and the media against corporal punishment.
Applied appropriately the rod gives the child wisdom and sense; it saves the children from pain and death. When they grow older, I repeat, you want to talk to them more than using the rod. Remember the old adage, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.”
Online Reporter