admin
Laina Makuzha LOVE by DESIGN
Some couples seem to struggle with understanding the meaning of marriage, balancing between leaving parents to start a family, and honouring parents and parents’ wishes and needs.
Marriage is a beautiful institution designed by God, and those that find love and that special someone to share life with, have God to thank for that blessing.
Beautiful as it may be, if misunderstood and mishandled, it can be the cause of untold strife, wasted years and unnecessary suffering. If you are a believer, you have the privilege of viewing marriage through a biblical lens.
Whether you are a newly wedded couple excitedly starting your journey together or a veteran couple who have weathered the storms of life, understanding the stages of marriage can provide valuable insights.
This week, we will explore the stages of marriage and delve into the scriptural principles underpinning each stage. Though not exhaustive, consider these stages, see where you are or what your experience has been:
Stage 1: Leaving
This has been a bone of contention for some couples, where one partner feels their spouse hasn’t quite “left” home or matured from dependence on parents. Leaving one’s family is the initial stage of marriage, it just means a couple transitions from the dependence on their parents to the independence found in their own union.
This stage involves physical, emotional, and psychological detachment from their family of origin. Genesis 2:24 states, “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This verse emphasises the significance of leaving behind previous dependencies and establishing a new foundation as a couple. Author Davison Kanokanga once wrote: “Marriage involves leaving one’s parents, cleaving to your spouse and becoming one flesh”. If a couple can understand what that means and how to do so effectively, they can build a happy, strong union.
Stage 2: Cleaving
Cleaving revolves around building a strong and lasting bond in marriage, not allowing negative influence from elsewhere to come between you as a couple. It involves cultivating a deep sense of togetherness, unity, and commitment to one another and requires intentional efforts to nurture emotional intimacy, effective communication, and mutual support.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 encourages the “cord of three strands” to withstand the challenges that may come. This verse reminds us that with God at the centre of our relationship, we are woven together in a bond that cannot easily be broken.
Stage 3: Becoming One Flesh
This one is a continuous experience of deliberately standing together no matter what. Ideally, becoming one flesh is a lifelong process where a couple continually chooses to grow in unity physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Mark 10:8 states, “and the two shall become one flesh.” This scriptural reference underlines the beauty of intimacy within a marriage, transcending the physical realm and encompassing the amalgamation of hearts, minds, and souls. Beautiful, wouldn’t you say? It reminds us that true unity requires vulnerability, selflessness, and sacrificial love.
Navigating these stages:
Important to note, is the fact that though these stages are presented in some sort of sequence, they can also be cyclical. Couples at any stage of marriage may find themselves revisiting previous stages in times of transition, growth, or challenges. Understanding these stages equips couples with a realistic perspective, enabling them to cultivate a thriving marriage.
Marriage is really a sacred journey full of joy, growth, and challenges that inspire sharpening of certain skills such as conflict resolution, when you learn to disagree amicably as a couple.
Through the stages of leaving, cleaving, and becoming one flesh, couples are invited to embrace God’s design for their relationship. Scripture provides a strong foundation for understanding and navigating these stages, promoting love, unity, and commitment.
Remember, our shared experiences can contribute to the ongoing conversation about relationships and marriage. If you believe in love, if you choose to love and allow yourself to be loved, I’m in your corner to find solutions that help improve relationships. Let’s continue to encourage, support, and inspire one another on the beautiful journey of finding love, or marriage, always seeking God’s guidance and wisdom.
I would be delighted to hear from you, sharing your experiences, views, or comments on this topic on the WhatsApp platform.
WhatsApp: +263719102572 or, Email: [email protected].
Online Reporter