Andrew
AN irate young man reached for the arm of an immaculately dressed vivacious lady who was in a bus queue and dragged her by the same limb before slapping her in the face, triggering choruses of disapproval from other commuters. It took four strong men to pull him off as he was pumping a flurry of fists into her chest.
We were later told that the young fellow was her husband, who had been riled by the young lady’s decision to leave for work without serving him breakfast. Weird as this sounds, such attacks on some women have become common in the communities in which we live. Some women are going through hell at the hands of men they married, with the promise of sharing love and life’s many challenges till death separated them.
Some men actually have whips, sjamboks and knobkerries in their bedrooms, which they use to intimidate and attack their spouses on a regular basis.
Money is also used as a weapon against women.
If she does not toe the line, financial privileges are immediately withdrawn, resulting in them going for days without food. Threats of divorce are also issued, even at the slightest point of disagreement with spouses.
So frequent have become some of the beatings that communities have come to generally accept that this is the way it is.
“Ini manje mukadzi handijaidze. Wangu ndinobeta akaita zvandisingadi. She made a choice to live with me, so she has to follow what I want. If she does not swim with the current, there are many women out there who are prepared to take the challenge,” you hear some men shamelessly bragging before their peers.
“A woman has no choice but to conform to my demands. Ndiri murumeka ini, Moyondizvo, Dhewa, Bvumavaranda akakwana,” some will tell you while drinking opaque beer in shebeens in the ghetto.
Gentle reader, some women are going through hell in the communities we live. It is now very difficult for some couples to secure accommodation because landlords do not want people who fight at their homes.
“Imba yanga iripo mwanangu, asi nemarwiro amunoita, haiwa bodo, hatingagare tose,” there are landlords who are known to tell tenants at their properties. Others have been sent packing for this predilection for violence or belief that a woman has to be beaten regularly to respect the husband.
At some point, it has to be taught in schools that domestic violence is tragic, immoral and debasing.
As I commit pen to paper, there are countless women who have lost teeth or eyes, and their bodies bear scars because of relentless abuse by their partners. Men, too, are in the same predicament. Some have been scalded with water, oil and even chemicals by their spouses.
Walking down the marriage road is not easy. People are committing all sorts of crimes against their partners, and there is need to come together to end this menace. There are some partners who fight so regularly that their neighbours now use their houses as signposts for giving directions.
“Mukasvika pamba pemukadzi wekurova uya, mobva matarisa kumavirira, aiwa munenge matosvika,” some people will tell you.
Community leaders, church elders and other people in positions of authority have many tales to tell about men and women they have rescued from their abusive partners.
As we mark 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence, there is need to spare a thought for men and women who are being abused by their partners.
The 16 days are used as a strategy by individuals and organisations around the world to call for the prevention and elimination of violence against women and girls.
In fact, the days must be stretched to cover both sexes throughout the year.
Gentle reader, there is need to spread love, and stop hurting one another in relationships.
Inotambika mughetto:
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