daniel chigunwe
Asked what matters most in their relationship, couples and individuals will have different responses, with some saying it is, of course, the love, others speaking of financial security, others value fruitfulness, and on and on it goes.
One aspect that is often overlooked is that of foundation/s. In the hustle and bustle of life nowadays, relationships often take a backseat, and without a strong foundation, they can easily become a pale shadow of themselves or worse still completely crumble under the weight of challenges.
Blindsided by such an outcome, an individual might feel as though they toiled in the marriage or relationship, to no avail.
I’m reminded of a profound Bible verse, Psalm 127:1, which says, “Unless the LORD builds the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchmen waketh in vain.” (KJV)
This verse emphasises the importance of relying on God’s guidance and protection in all endeavours, as human efforts alone are insufficient without His involvement.
Another portion of scripture that depicts the consequences of building a house on a flimsy foundation is in Matthew 7:26-27, which says, “But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”
Further reading will show the benefits of building on strong, foundation, on “rock”.
This week I was inspired to explore how we can apply this to marriages and relationships, even though the scriptures cover a wider spectrum, emphasising the importance of building on a foundation of faith in all aspects of a believer’s walk with God, whether in business, ministry, studies, pursuit of destiny among other areas of life.
Applicability
We can apply the scriptures to marriages in the sense that a strong foundation is crucial for a successful and lasting relationship.
Building a marriage on the shaky grounds of rather superficial factors such as external appearances, material wealth only, or fleeting emotions, is what can be likened to building a house on sand.
Such foundations are unfortunately unstable and susceptible to the storms of life, which could manifest as challenges, conflicts, or hardships.
Without a solid base rooted in values, trust, communication, and commitment, a marriage may struggle to withstand these trials and could eventually crumble under the pressures.
Couples can learn from this to establish their relationships on a firm foundation of love, understanding, mutual respect, and shared values to ensure a stable and resilient marital bond.
Importance of a solid foundation:
When constructing a house, the foundation is considered to be the most crucial element of the structure to be done meticulously, at least that is what I have learnt from those in this field.
Similarly, our relationships need a well-built foundation to withstand the trials and tribulations that are inevitable in the course of life.
It is essential to clarify that building your relationship in God does not exempt you from challenges. Adversities, disagreements, and hardships will undoubtedly arise in any relationship.
However, the meaning behind “unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain that build it” for instance, lies in recognising that without God’s guidance and influence, our efforts alone will be futile.
Inviting God into our relationships allows Him to shower His grace, wisdom, and strength upon our journey, making it more meaningful and long lasting.
Foundations for a new year
The new year is an opportune time to reflect on the foundations of our relationships. Just as a building needs a strong foundation, so do our relationships.
This fresh start presents an excellent opportunity to assess the solid ground our relationships are built on and make necessary adjustments. By investing time and effort into nurturing our bond with God and each other, you ensure that your relationships flourish. Not alone! Whether still navigating the relationship “market”, or your marriage, realise you are not alone.
If feeling overwhelmed by the intricacies that make up strong relationships, I suggest seeking wisdom from above through prayer as well as tapping into sound counsel.
Throughout history, renowned relationship and marriage experts have emphasised the significance of a strong foundation.
In Zimbabwe,we have countless marriage experts and authors who’ve gained international repute, the likes of Emeldah Tsumba and Davison Kanonga who have each, alongside their spouses, written materials that help shape relationships and marriages.
Similarly, teachings on radio by “the Apostle DJ”, Apostle Godfrey Kudita alongside Apostle Sibongile Kudita, or materials by Dr Gary Chapman, Les and Leslie Parrott, and Dr Emerson Eggerichs can add depth to your understanding of foundational principles.
They teach about the importance of faith, effective communication, emotional intelligence, and selflessness in nurturing deeper connections.
Reflecting on personal foundations:
The significance of foundations extends beyond relationships, infact stronger relationships stem from individuals who themselves have strong foundations, and who continually seek to have strength and balance.
In an individual’s life, personal growth and success also require a solid foundation, which will show when that individual connects with someone for a long term relationship.
If you can see there is repeatedly something amiss in the way you relate to others, I would suggest checking your foundation.
Through prayer for change, you can literally hit the ‘reset’ button, to align your thoughts with the original intent God had for you.
The beauty of it is that when you humble yourselves enough to take your weaknesses and challenges to the source, our Creator, we can get the wisdom and instruction needed to get on the right track – and thus begins a more rewarding, fulfilling journey, as that turnaround impacts all areas of one’s life.
My desire is to support the building of marriages, relationships and families that honour God, including for those individuals hoping to enter the dating market in 2024.
Laying a solid foundation from the beginning is crucial and I encourage you to embark on this journey with openness, humility, and commitment to relationships that please God.
When foundations are strong, a relationship or marriage is unshakeable.
I have seen marriages that faced what some would term the ‘ultimate challenge’, the ‘last nail in the coffin’, yet due to incredibly deep foundations, the marriages prevailed to the surprise of naysayers.
Have you faced or are you facing a test that seems insurmountable?
Are you finding it difficult to hold a relationship down for the long haul?
Is there a trait in you that your trusted family or friends keep pointing out?
That might just be your cue to do that deep-dive introspection and go back to the drawing board — the foundations — if that is what it takes.
Make things right.
It is after all a new year. If it is to change,it is up to you where you put your hope, where you get your wisdom and what action you take. I can testify though, that God cares for each and everyone of His children and it is not a sign of weakness, nor is it embarrassing to admit to Him your need for His help even in what appears ‘too small’.
The divine guidance and love brought into our lives through this approach empower us to navigate the challenges we encounter. I invite you to share your views and personal experiences with relationship foundations. What has worked for you or what is not working? Your perspectives will enrich the ongoing conversation on building lasting relationships.
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