admin
Fredrick Qaphelani Mabikwa Successful Solutions
In the recent past I attended a workshop on the general conduct of formal meetings and writing of minutes. The training included issues of etiquette, which I found very interesting. These are small issues we take for granted but they do mean a lot in revealing what kind of a person you are. I just want to share a few points on table etiquette.
When you sit down at table for a formal dinner and you are meeting important people, how do you behave? Maybe its people you want to impress in business circles. How do you behave? When you sit, first there is the napkin etiquette. As soon you sit down, you take the napkin and put it on your lap. Remember this napkin is not a handkerchief which you can use to blow your nose and put it on the table. You cannot wipe away your sweat with it, it belongs to the lap. After the meal, traditional etiquette says you don’t place your napkin on the table until your host or hostess has done so signalling the end of the meal. Do not be in hurry to get rid of the napkin, leave it to the left of the setting in loose folds, positioned so that any dirty part is not visible.
We have the bread and butter etiquette. When the bread basket is close to you, traditional etiquette says that you pick the bread basket and ask “anyone for bread?” After everyone has been served, pick out a piece and place on your bread plate with a pat or two of butter. If the butter comes in a dish, use your butter knife to scoop out a portion and deposit it on the edge of your plate, it’s acceptable. Do not use a spoon to scoop butter from the dish. Do not pile bread in your plate, usually there is enough to pick again. When you butter your bread, do it while holding it on the plate not in the air across people’s faces. Always keep servings on your plate moderately low. If the bread basket is out of reach and no one has offered the bread, ask the person next to the basket to pass it. Do not put your large “paws” across people’s plates and faces, that is rude. The bread plate can also be used to put jam or jelly or any finger foods served on a communal platter.
What you take from a common basket is all yours. For example bread. You don’t take a piece of bread and break it and put back the other piece in the basket. No one wants to touch your left overs.When you eat, polite dinner uses one hand at a time. Do not hold your bread in one hand and your drink in the other; you are killing space on the table. If there is a last piece of bread in the basket and you want it, first offer it to others and if there are no takers you can have it.
If there is a taker, tough, polite etiquette says you just hand it over; you won’t die from missing the last piece of bread in the basket. If an uncut loaf is placed on the table with a knife, normally the host or the person closest to the board cuts a few slices and passes the board around for everyone to cut their own. You don’t stand up to cut bread across the table because when you move the table, people’s food may spill causing a disaster.
The appetisers are eaten with the small fork to the left of the dinner fork. If you are having soup, the server will probably bring the soup spoon with the soup. If the soup spoon is part of the setting, it will be to the right of the knives. If a platter for sharing has been ordered, it is usually passed around the table with each person holding it for the next person. No matter how nice the soup is, avoid making noise cleaning the bowl and do not finish off anything in the soup bowl by drinking it off.
When taking your beverage, blot your lips with your napkin to keep the glass from becoming soiled. This is especially important for the ladies. Imagine taking your drink and on putting the glass back on the table and it is red with lipstick. This can be disgusting to some people. By the way, the water goblet is not a finger bowl. In case you want to clean your fingers, you can use the napkin. If the dish has been messy to eat, it is advisable to excuse yourself to clean your hands in the restroom than to mess up your napkin and put it on the table.
The period of eating the main course is the most important part of the meal. The eating must be nice and slow. If it’s a business dinner make sure that your speed of eating is in keeping with your host or hostess .You don’t want to finish your food well before others have finished, especially your host. Because it is a business dinner, the primary reason for the dinner is the business talk. You have to make sure that you balance well the talking and the eating. If you concentrate more on the food when you have been invited to talk that is rude. If you just talk and don’t eat, that’s rude again because chances are high that you will be dominating the talk, not giving other people a chance to speak.
On dishing, awalys dish out a reasonable amount, of food. It is allowed to go back for some more. If your plate is spilling like a flooded river this is when you see people staring at you. This is when food falls off your plate and you have no clue as what to do with food that has fallen off your plate. If you are in the company of your superiors, you are embarrassing them by your overloaded plate. Never talk with food in your mouth. This is one of the most disgusting habits of the dinner table. Only talk when you are sure you have chewed and swallowed your food. Do not crush bones on the dinner table. Do not take anything that you have put into your mouth out. If you have to, then excuse yourself from the table. When talking, do not gesticulate with cutlery, you might poke the next person’s eye with your knife or folk. When you are using a tooth pick, cover your mouth. Do not spit the debris you have removed from your mouth with the tooth pick. While belching can be spontaneous, it can still be controlled because at times you feel it coming. Avoid belching at the dinner table.
Certain problems might crop up at the dinner table and you have to deal with them calmly. Certain times food may arrive at different times at the dinner table. If it is hot dishes, the diners who have not received their food should urge those who have to go ahead and eat. If everyone is having cold dishes, then you have to wait until everyone is served and everyone eats at the same time.
You are free to send back food when it’s not cooked to your satisfaction, tastes spoiled or you have discovered an unpalatable foreign body in the food. You call the server then quietly and calmly inform them .You don’t shout what you have seen in your food across the table, you might upset other diners. Vegetables maybe served in individual small dishes ,it is proper to eat them directly from those dishes or you can easily slide them into your plate.Don’t keep your table clumsy always ask the server to remove empty dishes from the table.
When face to face with unfamiliar food and you want to try it out wait until someone else starts to eat and also observe how the food is eaten. You are however safer avoiding the unfamiliar food altogether. You might be following someone who is also eating the food for the first time. If you try things you don’t know and you are chocked and you cough and you come out with red eyes and tears, this is a disaster at the dinner table. Just avoid eating things you don’t know.
When you have left over food that is still very edible and you don’t want to waste, it is acceptable to ask for a doggy bag. It is however not advisable to ask for a doggy bag when you are having a business meal. If it’s a meal with business associates who you are familiar with it’s okay to ask for a bag. Do not leave the dinner table and nicodemously return to pounce on the left over food when others have left. This is rude.
To be continued in the next issue.
Online Reporter