adminFadzayi Maposah
Correspondent
When we were growing up, the elders were against young children who would just open and peep into other people`s bags or even rooms without consent.
I am sure the issue of respecting others’ boundaries is still pertinent even up to today.
What could be different is the approach.
Back then you could be told “uchasangana nezvinotaura mumabag iwayo” loosely translated it means “you shall encounter things that talk back to you in those bags.”
It was not 100 percent true, but children and even adults were deterred from going beyond their boundaries.
On the other hand, some then grew up thinking that their relatives were witches or wizards.
Yet these relatives had no clue of where witchcraft began or ended.
The adults left the issues hanging and it stuck with some family members.
In the process some relations were affected. Some people were alleged to be witches in conversations that were overhead by young ears who later distanced themselves from the “witches”.
How many young minds have been affected?
This past week I had an opportunity to have interactive discussions on menstrual health management with some adolescents.
Participants were both boys and girls. I liked that during the discussions, there was active participation from both sexes.
Teachers sat and listened to the discussions.
The reasons why teachers sat also in the discussions are two fold; one – so that they are aware of the issues being discussed and two – so that the issues are discussed even later spearheaded by the teachers.
I respected the male teachers who were able to sit through the discussion and at points participated in the discussion.
Times have really changed.
When I was a lot younger than I am now, back in primary school when I learnt with boys, when discussions on menstruation were done, it was a no go area for the boys.
They were either given free time to be just boys or they had some fun playing sport while we sat down to hear how to manage menstruation as a challenge that accompanied womanhood.
When later the boys would ask us what the talks had been on, our lips were sealed. If we shared anything, it was that it was “girls stuff.”
What has happened over time is that people have slowly come to realise that no, it is not just girls stuff.
Menstrual health management is one issue that affects either sexes one way or the other.
During the discussions, what I noticed is that although menstruation is done during Biology lessons, some boys learn about it and leave it ready to pass any test that may ask about the process but not really wanting to be involved.
So seeing a stranger who has come in the company of a male teacher to talk about menstruation, in some way made them comfortable to ask questions.
One question that I was asked was just how painful is menstruation? Was it really painful that a girl could miss lessons?
What can girls do so that they do not experience so much pain? When girls spoil their dresses, do they not feel that something is leaking?
When I asked how as boys they could assist a fellow classmate who had spoilt her uniform, there were wonderful suggestions.
If she was getting up and the boy noticed, he would ask her to sit down so that less people could witness what had happened.
One boy said that he could offer a girl his jersey so that she could cover herself so that she could walk back to the dormitory to change.
There was a catch to this gesture though, the girl could only return the jersey after washing it!
Although girls participated in the discussion, most questions came from the boys.
It was refreshing. I told them I missed out on learning with boys as I went to girls’ schools for six years.
I also shared that when I was young such discussions were exclusive female discussions.
It was wonderful realising that even those boys who had been shy at the beginning of the discussion, as the discussion progressed, warmed and even then began to participate.
The challenge is women; I was told by the boys from another group.
These women include the mothers, the aunts, grandmothers and older sisters. If a boy asks a question regarding menstruation they are not given a proper answer.
They said that they could actually receive a scolding! Maybe those who are asked are so taken aback and because they have no answer they simply scold.
For a long time, girls and women have been sailing in their boats, ignoring the boys and men folk.
The males have been watching from the shores while the females sail away.
It is only when the boats appear to be sinking that the women folk call for help.
The sad part is that the males do not know how to assist, because the women are in their own boat and they are the only ones who know how to deal with the situation.
After the discussions, I was in high spirits. It was nice seeing that it is possible to talk about menstruation to both males and females and have a fruitful discussion that is not emotionally driven.
Too many misconceptions have been thrown into menstruation.
What these misconceptions do is that they instil fear regarding a natural process.
Would you not be afraid if you were told over and over again that if people saw your menstrual blood you would not be able to conceive?
Imagine the trauma that you would experience if then one day, you had a menstrual mishap?
Full information will ensure that boys and girls grow up empowered. One such way is to take them aboard the ship of menstrual health management!
Online Reporter