Teen advice with Gracious

I think my mother is spending my school fees
I am a 16-year-old boy who is in form four and obviously about to write my “O”level exams. This is the most crucial time of my life it being exam season but it appears my family (more of my mother) is not taking it serious.
Honestly, l think my mother is spending my school fees. I stay with both my parents and father usually hands my mother the fees in full to deposit in the school account but l have never seen the deposit slip afterwards. Apart from that, I am being called for unpaid fees at school yet all this time I thought it was being paid for. Being called out is affecting my learning as l am usually left behind with the revision or notes.
I am afraid to tell my father because l am not sure about the consequences that either my mother or l will have to face. I adore my mother and l would not want anything to happen to her but she is ruining my studies. How do l deal with this situation?
RESPONSE
What your mother is doing is really unfair. You deserve to be in class especially at such a crucial time of your life. The only way to deal with it is by telling your father know what is going on. When confiding in him try doing it in private so that he hears you out without any disturbances.
Your mother might try to get defensive thus talking to him in private is best. I am not really sure about your family setting but if communicating with your father is hard, involve your father’s friend or close relative to be there when you open to him.
Your future is based on your education and at the present moment your mother is standing in the making of your future. Your father gives your mother the amount in full showing he cares about you and what you become. Telling him is best since he is the one who can deal with this situation.
However, before you run off and inform your father, make sure she is misusing the money. Inform her that you are being called out of class due fees owing and based on her reply then report to your father.
If no explanation is given to you or she tries to change the subject then something is truly going on. Then if your father does not believe you, bring him evidence in the form of a school invoice printed showing everything owing .You are in form four and about to write you need to be in school. ACT FAST!

IT WAS A MISTAKE
I thought them being the elders they would embrace the fact that we all make mistakes in life but I was proven wrong. Why do people dwell in the past?

When I was fifteen years old I got involved in quite a mess at school. My friends and I got caught with alcohol in our room at our boarding house. After we had finished our form three end of year exams, we got over excited and paid a senior day scholar to supply us with alcohol.
A little while after excessive consumption, the hostel monitor walked in on us and we were weren’t sober enough to hide what we had done. We were caught red-handed, no way of lying our way out of it. Empty and half-empty bottles were all over. We got punished for our deed and we really regretted it.
Now l am 17 and some of my teachers still refer to that incident of mine. It’s depressing, really. l know I made a mistake and I truly regret it but I do not need a constant reminder of my mistakes. l have changed remarkably ever since that day, I have never taken a drop of alcohol ever since as an effort to correct my mistakes. All my efforts seem to be in vain, l am really tired of all these reminders. How do l handle all this?
RESPONSE
I understand what you are going through and its very common, people are usually always trying to highlight all your mistakes and flaws. Unfortunately there is no way or method to stop people from doing that. It is really hard for people to move past a painted picture and that scenario painted your name.
People will talk and talk some more, it is how you react to what they say that is important. Be that person that only listens to things that build you up and ignore those that are not of great use. Garbage in and garbage out!
l also believe in speaking up when something you dislike is happening to you or being said to you. Confront your teachers, in a respectful manner, and tell them you do not appreciate them dwelling in your past and pointing out your mistakes.
You really need to confront them because if you do not speak out it will continue happening and it might even affect how you perform in class. The best way to also silence people who talk too much is by just proving them wrong. If they call you a drunkard prove them wrong by not drinking.
All l can say is that keep doing good and let people’s talking be the fuel to your fire, once lit trust me they will be no putting you out.
Lastly live your life for yourself do not let people’s words be the basis of your life. Never let another human being bring you down.

The responses are written by Tynwald Lower 6 student, Gracious Mazivanhanga. It takes a teenager to handle teenage problems. So students to send your questions you can app or text her on 0777661534 or you can post on her Facebook Page Teen Advice.

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