happiness Chikwanha
Laina Makuzha-Love by Design
Hope you had a productive week.
I’m enjoying the dose of winter we are experiencing in Zimbabwe, though not quite the winter I used to know.
It is a season that seems to inspire love somehow.
And in the vast tapestry of life, I see love as the thread that weaves us together and I’m committed to inspiring hope and resilience in that journey.
For those who have weathered life’s storms — the mature singles who’ve been through tough experiences, from the widowed, the divorced, and single parents, male or female — love remains a hot topic, a beacon of hope, yet not so easy to navigate.
This week I invite you to explore with me, the path to healing, the art of readiness, and the pursuit of love, whether you’re guided by faith or not.
As they say, first things first.
Healing: Nurturing the wounds before embarking on a new love journey is crucial.
Wounds of the heart are subtle to an onlooker, they are hidden and might be ignored or overlooked.
But the individual going through it should acknowledge the pain, grieve the loss, and allow time for healing.
Remember, healing isn’t linear; I can liken it to a “dance” of progress and setbacks.
In past writings I’ve mentioned seeking therapy when one is overwhelmed, I still believe it’s an option to consider rather than allowing the pain to fester and paralyse every part of one’s life.
If you like writing like me or want to try it, journalling your feelings can be very helpful.
Oprah Winfrey is an avid advocate of this.
Writing a journal allows a release and free flow of what you’re feeling, and tracks your progress. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends.
A point to note is that healing prepares your heart for love’s sweet return.
For the willing and patient — I am talking about vanoda zvavo, even years later — love does return, sometimes with more grace and splendour than the past.
Healing is a critical process in the journey to a life of joy and fulfilment where the heart is willing to believe in love again.
Sometimes it’s doubts, negative thoughts and our words that tend to formulate and manifest results, we don’t really want for ourselves.
Self-discovery and purpose
Love blooms best in fertile “soil”.
Prepare that soil. Rediscover yourself — your passions, dreams, and purpose.
What lights your soul?
Pursue those interests regardless of whether there’s someone on the horizon or not.
It might sound like a cliché but when you know who you are, you’ll attract someone who appreciates your essence. Prioritise emotional well-being, financial stability, and personal growth.
A healthy self, lays the foundation for a thriving relationship. For Christian mature singles, the Bible offers timeless wisdom.
In Proverbs 3:5-6, we’re reminded to trust God’s plan.
Seek His guidance in prayer.
I know you’ve heard this countless times and maybe you feel you are tired.
Psalm 37:4 encourages delighting in the Lord; when you do, He aligns your desires with His.
And in Isaiah 43:18-19, God promises new beginnings — and so it is, even after heartache.
New beginnings are possible. Trust His timing. Someone might ask: How do I know if I’m ready to love again?
I would say, look within, you might find some of the following traits, though not exhaustive:
Peaceful reflection: When thoughts of your past no longer stir turmoil.
Self-love: You cherish your own company and value your worth. Open heart and hopeful anticipation: You’re open to new connections without fear and you believe in love’s second chances.
Navigating challenges:
Challenges do exist — eg financial strain, loneliness, and emotional scars. But desperation isn’t the answer.
Consider this approach instead:
Financial Wisdom: Be financially stable before merging lives, Emotional Resilience: Seek joy beyond a partner; build a fulfilling life.
Community connection: Among other things, if loneliness is unbearable for you, counter it by joining clubs, classes of something fun or beneficial, or volunteering.
Caution and patience: Don’t rush in; discern character and compatibility.
Authenticity and grace are key in finding love again.
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach though as I often say. Authenticity matters. Be genuine, not performative or else those lies and fakeness will come back to bite you later in the relationship. Embrace vulnerability. Be it online dating, social events, or chance encounters — I reckon all paths can lead to love if you walk them with grace and purpose.
Society’s role, in my view, should be supportive, prioritising compassion and inclusion and desisting from judgment and stigmatisation. Singleness is not some plague. No quarantine is necessary, no casting out, no shunning. Instead, let’s celebrate resilience and courage. Extend a hand to those navigating love’s maze. Together, we create a world where everyone’s heart finds its home. Musician Tanga WekwaSando sang: “Mwoyo muti, hapana asina wake”!
Dear reader, if today’s topic applies to you, just know this: love awaits you. Whether you’re sipping coffee alone or dancing under the stars, know that you’re not alone. Share your thoughts, your dreams, and your heart. Remember, love isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. Reach out to me to share — I’m here to listen, support your journey and celebrate your love story. You’ve got this!
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