The big little word

Swagg Mama
One of the most important words in the English language is very small and simple. Everyone says it often without thinking twice about it.
But when it is really matters, a lot of teens fail to say the word. Or sometimes they do not say it convincingly and they end up in a situation that they could have avoided.

I am talking about the word NO.

Like I said, it is an easy word but failing to say it well or to listen when it is spoken can have a huge impact on your life. Saying no convincingly is a life skill that you need constantly. Generally most teens, especially girls, have a problem saying no. On the other hand, most teens, especially boys, have a problem taking no for an answer.

Do you know how to say no?

Saying no is more than just shaping your mouth and producing the word. Your whole attitude must also show that you mean what you say.

When you say no, do not smile, giggle, look down or exercise any other behaviour that can be taken to suggest that you are not serious. Such behaviour gives off mixed signals to the other person.

This is often called the “Stop it, I like it” response. Look at the person you are talking to and say “No” clearly. If need be, give your reasons.
It is also wise to avoid contact by creating a physical distance to show that you really do not want to do whatever is being said.

If the person keeps on insisting firmly repeat your answer twice then refuse to engage in the discussion any further. It may be a good idea to walk away or ask the person to leave at this point.

Avoid shouting. You want to be assertive, not aggressive. There is a big difference.

Aggression involves uncontrolled emotions while assertiveness is all about considered and deliberate actions. On the flip side, learn to listen and hear what the other person is saying. NO means NO, not yes, maybe or whatever.

Take the word at face value and do not make any assumptions that the other person does not mean what they say. If the person saying really does not want to say no, let them come out and admit it.

Many teens get into unplanned sexual acts because of the inability to say no convincingly. Other teens are going to prison for raping other teens because they cannot take a no.

So boy or girl, it is important that you learn to say no and also to take a no. If you make only one resolution for 2014, let it be the decision to understand the word NO.