malvernmugadzikwa
Veronica Gwaze
Zimpapers Sports Hub
BEAUTY SITHOLE clearly has a chip on her shoulder!
“Dhaiza”, as her peers call her, was part of the Zimbabwe senior netball team that made the historic debut at the 2019 Netball World Cup in Liverpool.
The trailblazing team finished eighth at the prestigious tournament, instantly gaining celebrity status locally and across the globe.
Their names got into global netball history books, an achievement that netballers and enthusiasts alike still celebrate.
She was a vital cog in the now-defunct trailblazing Platinum Queens that dominated the Premier Netball League and all the cup tournaments for three successive seasons.
This was after she jumped ship from the Rainbow Netball League in 2019, where they were also the reigning champions.
Ordinarily, given her success, Sithole should be walking around with a spring in her step, but this is not so for her.
One hardly finds the former Lupane State University winger smiling.
She carries a lot of anger and pain around with her, and no amount of success or fame appears to have managed to appease her.
Now mother to a three-year-old girl, Sithole, who is based in Zvishavane, still carries the effects of being abandoned by her mother, Sithokozile Dube, at the age of six.
At that time, her younger brother had just turned one.
Almost instantly, the minors’ lives took a drastic turn for the worst as they were allegedly forced to grow up under the care of an abusive stepmother.
Speaking to Zimpapers Sports Hub, Sithole did not try to hide the emotional scars she carries with her every day.
“I now have my own family.
“They are supposed to make me feel content, but in some way, what my mother did to me and my brother still haunts me,” she said, as tears filled her eyes.
“I feel there is nothing to celebrate about life when I have no idea who my mother is or what she looks like.
“All I have is her name, but since she left, she never looked back.
“Our childhood was a living hell.
“I find it hard to forgive and all I ever dream about is to meet her and ask why she punished us like that.”
Sithole neither communicates with her mother’s family nor does she have an idea of what her parent looks like.
All Sithole knows is that her mother is still alive and stays somewhere in Bulawayo.
“It breaks my heart when I see my team-mates happy with their mothers, chatting on their phones or even receiving calls,” she narrated.
Due to the abuse she endured while growing up, the netballer and her stepmother still have a strained relationship.
This has also affected the way she relates to her father; hence she finds it difficult to even visit him.
“I fail to come up with proper words to describe what our stepmother put us through; it was tough,” recalls the netballer.
“Later, we had to move in with our grandmother in rural Gwanda after she (stepmother) threatened to poison us.
“My father is trying to mend things, so he occasionally visits for a day or two, but the wounds are still fresh in my heart.
“It feels like both parents never wanted us.”
To escape her stepmother’s cruelty, Sithole would play netball at Daisy Primary School and Daisy Secondary School in Gwanda, where the duo now lived with their paternal grandmother.
She recalls how much her grandmother, who was the breadwinner, toiled to put food on the table for her grandchildren.
Based on that, Sithole feels her grandmother’s blessing is the only thing that matters in her life.
She has even vowed that her grandmother is the only person who deserves to receive and spend her bride price.
However, according to custom, both the maternal and paternal families need to be present and receive their share.
As a result, she has opted that her husband should not pay bride price for her.
“If custom does not allow gogo, the person who had to sweat to see us through life, be the one to marry me off, then things should stay as they are,” she said.
“I simply want to make sure that she is well taken care of and that she is happy.
“As for the bride price, it is a complex issue that needs so much to be fixed first.”
Reflecting on her quick rise in netball, “Dhaiza” believes her grandmother’s blessing is behind all the success.
At Grade Six, she made the cut for the school team and went on to sign for her first club, Blanket Mine juniors, that same year.
The following year, she was promoted to the senior team, the Golden Girls, forcing her to relocate to Bulawayo.
“While I would enjoy myself on court, the memories of what used to happen back at home always flashed back, so I became introverted,” she said.
In 2014, Sithole moved to the Lupane State University netball team, under the mentorship of head coach Prosper Mubayiwa.
After five seasons, Sithole, who was now in her peak years, moved to Platinum
Queens.
“I sometimes feel happy as I reflect on my journey, but on the other hand, as someone who grew up without a mother’s guidance, I ask myself if I am a good mother to my daughter,” she said.
“I pretty much grew up without an idea of what a proper mother looks like.
“When I became a mother myself, there was no one from my side to introduce me to motherhood. My grandmother is old now and I cannot trouble her.”
Psychologist and life coach Methius Ndoro said Sithole needs psychological therapy to deal with her childhood traumas.
Overcoming trauma, he said, involves a combination of therapy, self-reflection and developing new coping strategies.
“I gladly volunteered to help her with the therapy and now we are set for the fourth lesson (two weeks).
“Clearly, she has gone through a lot and if she does not heal, the child might be affected as well, but I am happy that so far I am seeing progress, she is healing”, said Ndoro.
“Therapy will help her process and make sense of her past experiences, while giving her tools to handle the emotions and reactions that trauma can trigger.”
Online Reporter