The clash of communication

Zachary Aldwin Milkshake in the Boardroom

Dealing with each other is more like a wrestling match; messy, seeking to find how the other person works, not tolerating sloppiness and bad characteristics that can wreck a project.

There is a dilemma facing the generation gap today that has probably never been as pronounced in the past, over the use of technology.

In the older spectrum you have a group that struggles with finding the “on button” on a computer that cannot handle being asked to “upgrade” when they have just gotten used to one version of software.

The younger spectrum seems lost without their devices that have grown to be an integral part of their lives.

They can flip between them seamlessly and the only frustration being the download time for updates.

On one side, we have the tech immigrants that are used to repeating face to face meetings, structure and system, phone calls, smart suits and the postal service.

On the flip side are the tech natives who will hold meetings on Whatsapp groups often with the full use of emotions, prefer jeans, write short emails with crazy abbreviations.

It is like having two different worlds collide in the office on a scale that can generate such frustration and friction that there seems to be no hope.

This collision is not unique. We have smaller collisions every day between individuals that seem to speak a different language simply because they have a different personality.

If done incorrectly personality profiling can be one of the most detrimental experiences to an individual and a company.

The actual process of discovering that someone “gets you” and that your crazy quirks are “normal” for a particular personality type is quite euphoric.

The revelation that you are a “beaver”, a “high C”, or an “influencer” is part of a self-discovery process that is really rather fulfilling.

The problem comes when discovery stops at self. Too many people stop at the snap shot of their life and make it all about them.

I’m an “x” and so you must treat me like this and this and bring me this to keep me happy, and if you don’t I have carte blanches to go off my rocker because well the test said I can.

Not once do they care about anyone else or the organisation’s growth. If you ever watched “The Devil Wears Prada” you will see the damaging sort of personality that does not care about anyone else in the main protagonist.

There needs to be a process of give and take in the whole system. Yes you may do your best work if given clear and simple direction, but Bill does his best work if he feels emotionally connected to the project.

So if you want him to give his best then you need to treat him accordingly. Not with kid gloves to avoid the negative aspects of his traits, but appealing to the better parts of him that make him a rockstar genius.

And he needs to do the same to you. When there is a reciprocal understanding of who each other are then there is less self, more giving, more growth, and the true benefit of profiling actually comes to the fore.

Does this mean there will never be conflict? Of course not! We are not meek little minions stroking each other’s egos in some Zen utopia filled with floral wonder and happiness. Dealing with each other is more like a wrestling match; messy, seeking to find how the other person works, not tolerating sloppiness and bad characteristics that can wreck a project. It is about figuring out how to make it work with each other, being flexible enough to compromise and not so rigid that you break.

This brings me to the next issue on profiling; the labelling. It is far too easy after a test to stick yourself in a box and say “this is me”.

Yes, it may be you now but you do not have to stay that way. That would be akin to me putting on a few kilos after Christmas and declaring “I am fat” and never doing anything about losing the weight.

You may have a few dominant traits but that does not mean that you cannot work a little on the others or find mechanisms to bolster your flaws.

Or simply learn to be a better person. You can learn to be more caring, to be a little more outgoing.

Just because you are not an adventure junkie does not mean you can never experience the thrill of sky diving (you may just do it only once though).

So back to our original dilemma; how do we deal with the polarisation around technology? In the same way we deal with any difference in personality; by finding the middle ground, through respect and compromise. We have to learn to communicate – it is changing too fast to get it wrong.

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