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Tendai Mugabe
It is unbelievable. Yes, quite incredible for a famous man to be condemned from his mighty greatness to an insignificant other in his backyard. I am talking here of course, about the “mighty man” from Buhera who also happens to be the chief executive officer of MDC-T politics.
The man is none other than Morgan Richard Tsvangirai. In the village, I mean in Humanikwa and Makanda where the man hailed from, they call him Save but at Harvest House — the throne of MDC-T’s regime change politics — they referred to him as “Chikara cheZanu.” Up there in Australia, they elevated him — scaled him to unthinkable proportions of honour and he is called a (Nelson) “Mandela.”
In Canberra, Tsvangirai is considered to be a great warrior fighting dictatorship in Zimbabwe — some sort of a martyr. In other words, the former Zimbabwe Congress of Trade Unions secretary general is equated to the ex-Robben Island detainee who wrestled Apartheid to its final demise in South Africa. Phew!
Just across the Limpopo River, our heart-broken sister Nosipho Shilubane knows Tsvangirai as “Legend of the Seas” because of his insatiable thirsty for boat cruises in expensive resorts in the world.
But the man had coined a famous and self telling name for himself following the death of his wife Susan in 2008 –the Main Actor. Indeed our “good man from Humanikwa, Buhera is the Main Actor in Zimbabwe’s opposition political soap opera.
Suffice to say Tsvangirai is a Main Actor in opposition politics; the man deserved some modicum of acknowledgement in some of his political movies. Of course notable one being his attempt to dethrone the bedrock of Zimbabwe politics President Mugabe and his Zanu-PF from power. This sweet movie was set in motion in 1999, when the Main Actor or Legend of the Seas if you like was so determined to challenge President Mugabe.
Most of the time, the Main Actor forgot that his was just a soap opera to the extent of believing some of his performances. Backed by a sound purse from Western capitals Tsvangirai conjured some false confidence that he can surely overthrow President Mugabe. The first episode of his movie was much exhilarating and lived up to its expectation in 1999 when MDC-T gave Zanu-PF a good run for its money. Between 2000 and 2005 the Main Actor lost steam and produced some boring episodes. In 2008 he brewed a shocker much to the amusement of every follower of his movies.
The man lead in the first round of elections held on March 29 –but fell short of the required 50 percent plus one vote to be crowned the “New Prince.”
But even though, he forced Zanu-PF to the negotiating table leading to protracted negotiations that gave birth to the inclusive Government. As a result, the Main Actor was crowned Prime Minister and some of his acolytes pick-pocketed some Cabinet posts. Yes, pick-pocketed because they abused those offices for personal aggrandisement.
What a beguiling achievement for mere pretenders?
But behold, during this period of cohabiting with Zanu-PF the main actor got trapped and exposed his ignorance as an ignoramus as President Mugabe branded him last week. The man was so excited forgetting that he still wanted to produce some more episodes in future.
He started to behave in some funny ways — put simply — he behaved like an untamed bullock and in the process wantonly broke hymens of innocent girls.
The main actor did not end there. Armed with a huge but passing title, Mister Prime Minister, he lied to civil servants and everyone who cared to listen to his boring and empty speeches. The man promised manna in 100 days ranging from salary increment for Government workers to anything you may think of.
On the backdrop of all these lies, Tsvangirai morphed a new life style for himself. At one point he also suffered from a rare disease reserved for the rich called jet-leg. He flew more than the US secretary for state holidaying with gorgeous women of varying complexions and body shapes. Back at Harvest, Save was now untouchable. Cruising in the streets with a mini motorcade and surely Main Actor was on cloud nine. He became a little pagan god who can make rains and even stop the sun from setting. The man had just struck a purple patch in his life. To say the least, his tenure in Government was disastrous.
To borrow words from one of Tsvangirai’s media backers The Telegraph: “When not making empty threats, Tsvangirai can say things that are plain foolish.
“And what about Tsvangirai’s performance as Prime Minister from 2009 onwards? Sadly his period in office – if not power – showed up all his shortcomings.”
Such was a candid assessment of the Main Actor after his short four year stint in Government that was also characterised by devastating sex orgies.
The final straw that sealed the fate of the Main Actor who survived death since 1999 came on July 31 2013.
The man entered into an election brimming with false confidence. Speaking to journalists after casting his vote in Mount Pleasant on July 31 Tsvangirai had this to say:” “It is an historic moment for everyone to complete the delayed runoff from 2008.”
Little did he know that a political casket was waiting for him wide open outside the voting booth?
After counting of the votes, the Main Actor was reduced to a mere by-stander in the whole election movie to say the least. He suffered a severe battering at the hands of the great schemer of all time — President Mugabe. The man was sent packing from Government Offices with the tail stuck between his legs.
Hey, what a sudden and smart but devastating fall.
The main actor is no more.
Hopefully this time around the Western political project would not be named after individuals such as MDC-(T) for Tsvangirai. Hopefully this time agents of regime change would offer a better actor than our man from Buhera who failed to deliver his much promised Canaan to his masters.
Online Reporter