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Dr Nick Ohizu The Voice of God
The conclusion of this series will have us deal with the fundamentals of marital happiness. Ignoring these fundamentals has contributed to the unhappiness mankind is experiencing in matrimony. There is a misconception spread across the spectrum of failed couples who spread a wrong dogma that portrays marriage to be evil and painful. Let it be noted that it is people that fail not marriage. Marriage doesn’t fail but the character of people who get into marriage causes them to fail.
We can not conclude that the educational system has failed just because a child failed in school. In the same manner, few people failing in marriage doesn’t make marriage a failure. Adherence to the grass root fundamental principles for marital success guarantees marital success.
The fundamental principles prescribed for marital happiness are found in the following quote. Gen.2:24.[NLT] “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one”.
THE IMPORTANCE OF FATHER AND MOTHER: A man leaving his father and mother indicates the capacity and maturity to start own life. One is supposed to be equipped with the capacity not only through provision, age and education, but through training in the ways of life. The breaking down of the nuclear family has contributed immensely to the failure in marriage.
Family is the nucleus of the society; when family fails, society fails. A high percentage of the population below fifty years were raised by single parents. Statistics have proved that high divorce revolves around this demography. This is caused by the failure of both father and mother to paint a picture of the family that the next generation should admire to duplicate. Not creating this image will inspire young boys who are presently being raised by single mothers to struggle to become husbands tomorrow because they failed to see it in their parent’s life. It takes a husband to raise a husband and a wife to raise a wife. The few who have been able to find their way to success in marriage after being raised by a single parent should be celebrated.
Fixing this problem starts with the commitment not to start a family outside of marriage and if you already did, play the part of a parent in the upbringing of the child and teach them what a family should be in reference to God’s word. For those of us married, we need to also commit to showing our children what happy marriages should be like so that they emulate and duplicate.
2. LEAVING: Leaving connotes separation and creating a distance between Parents and newly-weds. The need for this space cannot be overemphasised because it gives the new couple the opportunity to start their own lives without the constant interference of parents. Our children leaving home should be a season of joy which emanates from the fact that we’ve done a good job as parents and proud of what we’ve given to someone as a spouse as well as what we’ve given to the world as citizens. A man and his wife are required by God to leave BOTH their parents and start a new life together. Living in close proximity will give room to constant influence and interference.
However, with technology making communication easier, someone’s physical presence is no longer required for them to encroach and interfere. The best way to avoid it is by taking marital issues to God not family.
The next is by having no constant provision from parents, as that accords them the right and proximity of interference. God made it that a married couple does not need to be dependent on their parents for any kind of provision. Therefore newly-weds should give themselves time and space to build their own success.
BECOMING ONE: Marriage requires couples to go through the process of compromising ideologies to create a oneness that is based on biblically acceptable principles of a happy marriage. This entails a process of friction without destruction.
Quarrels are inevitable, however, we must understand the root and purpose of those quarrels. Couples quarrel because of behavioural patterns caused by being raised in two different backgrounds. The compromise is not based on gender or who is stronger, but on what God stipulates as the acceptable principles. This can only be resolved through professional Christian counselling and happiness can be achieved.
Dr Nick Ohizu is the senior pastor of The Empowerment Ministries and The President of the Empowerment School of Wealth both located in Graniteside Harare. He is a successful entrepreneur with vast experience in leadership, mentorship, business and marriage consultancy with a mandate from God to change lives and bless people.
He can be contacted on 0772304917.
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