daniel chigunweFadzayi Maposah
Correspondent
I was talking to someone this week who was telling me that she cannot wait for her children to be all grown up so that she does not need a helper.
I assured her that the time will come but she could at times miss having that helper.
She told me she would actually enjoy turning the helper`s wages into her treat money!
Not possible I told her.
She would probably assign that money some responsibility and with time she would never remember having ‘extra money’
!What does extra money mean anyway?
I took myself down memory lane reflecting upon the helpers that I have had.
I stopped having helpers when my youngest, Chido was seven years old.
Then we decided as a family that we no longer really needed a helper.
We would manage somehow work around the chores and the responsibilities that had previously been the helper’s domain.
It meant that there were increased chores for everyone. Some chore times had to change. For some evenings after work, the laundry would be done, hung out on the washing line till late at night.
In summer the clothes would be brought into the house with some laundry items dry or very close to being dry.
It meant that as I assisted Chido with her homework, one would be cooking supper, washing the lunchboxes that had been used that day and anything else that was in the sink.
Tadiwanashe and Takudzwanashe were in boarding school.
It was the time that I learnt the importance of multi-tasking.
As I tried to manage everything every day, I realised the value that the helpers had brought to the household that I may have taken for granted.
Doing many things after a full day work was no walk in the park. I missed out on TV.
I had to rely on Chido telling me how the shows were going as I ironed, cleaned or prepared for the next day.
It was then without a helper in the house that I got to really value what they had been assisting us with.
I valued them when we had them but when they were gone, I felt the loss.
Remember what they say about not knowing the importance of something until you lose it or no longer have it.
As I dropped into my bed each night, tired and worn out, I asked God for forgiveness if I had not fully appreciated the helpers that I had.
As I pushed myself to get up each morning, I remembered that the fairy tale life that I had lived had come to an end.
I had to get up and make sure that everything was up and running. How I looked forward to the weekends and any public holiday so I could have an extra nap!
Each day I attempted to break the previous record of how fast I had done things!
I looked forward to school holidays when Tadiwanashe and Takudzwanashe would be home from school!
After a few months, I was back in form. It is not that I could not do all the tasks that the helpers had assisted with, I had just taken a back seat.
What had spoilt me was that the helpers were good, no every good. Once one got used to the routine, they excelled.
These are the helpers that I have had, that helped me to raise my children, in the order that I had them.
The one whose name I have forgotten, I have put just a letter, which has no link with her actual names, because I have no clue now what her name was.
Marceline, Netsai, X, Josy, Portia, Sheila, Janet and Fungi.
Marceline was my first helper. I was young and some of my ideas when I look back could have been “too much”.
She was young and had only child-minding experience and babysitting nieces and nephews.
We learnt much together. I liked her because she asked questions.
I have no problem with people who ask questions. I am not happy when people do not ask questions assuming that they know and things go the other way round. In the initial days, she was assisted by Tendi who was on her long ‘O’ Level holiday. She left after almost a year to get married.
Netsai came to join our family after a link through aunt (Tete) Rebecca.
She loved singing and soon she had recruited Tadiwanashe and Takudzwanashe into the family choir, singing from the hymn book.
After a few months, she confessed that she was expecting and that she had needed the money to prepare for the baby`s arrival. Never did I witness morning sickness! She ate everything, we noticed no changes.
X stayed a few weeks! When we thought she had adjusted well, she said she was needed back home and with work not done, I remember having a very busy weekend and thinking how I would handle the children.
Later I was told that she had never gone back home but had instead eloped since she was pregnant.
I could not determine whether she came pregnant or whether she got pregnant during her stay with us.
Like in Netsai’s case, I did not notice anything.
Since my experiences with these young women, I have told myself that I have no eyes that can see pregnancies.
I am no “pregnancy seer”! I am always amazed by people who claim to do visual pregnancy tests. Just like the children growing up, the pregnancy will show in its time.
These surprises that sometimes the helpers pop up are some of the reasons that people may look forward to the no helper phase.
Be careful what you wish for.
When menstruating, some wished for menopause, now they can happily exchange the no period for periods so that they get rid of hot flashes, mood swings, lack of motivation among the weeds in the menopause garden!
Online Reporter