adminTendai Makaripe Features Correspondent
“The doctor’s silence tells me everything I need to know. Eventually, he clears his throat, and says in a voice deliberately gentled, ‘I’m very sorry’. And so am I. There on the screen before us, I can make out the form of a tiny curled foetus and, where a few weeks earlier, its heart was thumping with life, it now lies still in the cavernous vacancy of my womb. This is no longer a baby. It is a miscarriage.”
These are the heartbreaking words of Fadzai (not her real name), a middle-aged woman from Harare’s Warren Park D suburb who recently had a second miscarriage and is finding the road to recovery hard.
Her situation is not isolated.
When a woman is pregnant she has a vastly increased need for food and for sleep. She feels more squeamish, more nauseous, more emotional and more hygienic. The hormone rushes make her feel like she is stoned.
Lack of food makes her violent. She feels the glow of life inside her and begins to plan and dream; considering the sex and name of the child. Some even chat with the unborn baby.
And then she begins to bleed.
For a woman to rejoice over a positive pregnancy test only to have to deal with the stress of a miscarriage afterwards is acutely painful.
“I have never known depression like the cloud that descends every time I lose a baby. I can compare it with the death of a close friend and I can honestly say that it’s worse. When a friend of mine died suddenly, we viewed the body, we buried him and we were able to say goodbye. I had the company of others who were as grief-stricken as I was.
“My mind replayed moments with him – a ceaseless video stream of memories, which was part of the way that my brain processed the loss,” said a visibly traumatised Fadzai, who was fighting back tears.
A loss of a child is considered one of the deepest pains, regardless of a child’s age. It leaves a woman in a state of physical and emotional readiness for a baby that will never be. Grief is a natural process which has no exact timeframe and is experienced in unique ways by different individuals.
After her second miscarriage, Fadzai’s in-laws began to talk a lot of negative things about her and word doing the rounds in the community is that she has mastered the art of “eating” her unborn babies.
Coping with the pain of losing a baby coupled by the harsh power of insulting words can lead to suicide.
But what exactly is a miscarriage and how can women and communities handle the associated trauma?
“A miscarriage, or spontaneous abortion, is when the embryo or foetus is expelled from the uterus before it’s able to live outside. Any spontaneous pregnancy loss that occurs during the first 20 weeks of a pregnancy is considered a miscarriage (though the majority of such losses occur before weeks 12 to 14),” explains Tafadzwa Chigaramasimbe, a Harare doctor.
Although it is common for a woman to wonder if she has miscarried because of something she did or did not do, it is important not to blame oneself. Miscarriage is not caused by moderate exercise, sex, a daily cup of coffee, or even that glass of wine one had before she knew she was pregnant. The most common cause, according to American Pregnancy Association, is a chance chromosomal or genetic abnormality in the embryo.
Other risk factors for miscarriage include: drug use; smoking; excess drinking; listeriosis, a bacterium that may be present in undercooked meats, raw eggs, and unpasteurised dairy products; maternal trauma, such as a car accident; hormonal or structural abnormalities in the mother (such as low progesterone levels or uterine fibroids); advanced maternal age (over 35); chronic illnesses such as uncontrolled diabetes, lupus, or thyroid disease
When a miscarriage happens, those affected need all the support they can get instead of victimising them with piercing utterances that do more harm than good. They should not be left to grieve alone.
Local talk show host Rebecca Chi-samba believes that showing love to a woman who has miscarried is the greatest sign of appreciation family and friends can give her.
“Even if you never saw your baby, you knew that he or she was growing inside of you, and you formed a bond; however abstract the attachment, you felt it. The baby was responsible for your emotions during pregnancy.
“From the moment a woman finds out she is pregnant, she imagines herself a mother – and then, all the excitement of forthcoming months (and years, and decades) abruptly comes to a screeching halt. It’s understandably painful.
“It becomes painful if the ones who are supposed to give you hope accuse you of eating your children. People should support each other; give hope to the affected so that they feel loved. This is the most important step towards the recovery of a woman who has just suffered a miscarriage,” she points out.
Macdonald Mabika from Harare, whose wife recently miscarried remarks: “It is important for couples to come and support each other during the time of loss. Sharing feelings openly, something that is difficult for many men, rather than acting as if nothing has happened does not work. Both the man and the woman should not retreat into shells.”
Archbishop and president of the Apostolic Christian Council of Zimbabwe Johanes Nyamwa Ndanga said affected mothers can approach their religious leaders for counselling because the church is there to support everyone without discrimination for as long as the miscarriage is genuine and not caused by abortion.
“As ACCZ we believe that victims of miscarriages need spiritual support and we assign people who make sure that they give them the necessary support as long as the miscarriages are genuine and not inspired by abortions as the Bible is clear with regards to murder,” he said.
In the past decade, the World Health Organisation has estimated the regional and global occurrence of miscarriages. Each year in Africa, 4,2 million miscarriages are estimated to take place. The ratio of miscarriage rates is 22 per 1 000 women. This estimates to one miscarriage per seven live births. In the year 2000, 19 million miscarriages took place. These miscarriages approximate to one miscarriage to every 10 pregnancies. For the vast majority of women, a miscarriage is a one-off occurrence and experts say it is actually an indication of future fertility.
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Peter Tanyanyiwa
Online Reporter