Online Reporter
Taygeta Zihwi, Features Correspondent
AS the world marks Men’s Mental Health month and celebrates Father’s Day, attention naturally turns to the role men play in families, communities and society at large.
Often portrayed as providers, protectors and pillars of strength, men are frequently expected to shoulder life’s burdens with little complaint. Yet beneath this image of unwavering resilience lies a reality that is seldom discussed openly: men are vulnerable too.
Across cultures and generations, many men have been socialised to suppress emotional pain, conceal their fears, and endure hardship in silence. The traditional script of masculinity often rewards stoicism while discouraging emotional expression.
As a result, many men navigate complex personal struggles without adequate support, recognition or understanding.
One of the most emotionally charged and increasingly visible issues affecting men today revolves around paternity uncertainty and the devastating discovery that a child they have loved and raised is not biologically theirs.
In Zimbabwe and beyond, this subject has moved from whispered conversations to public discourse, largely through the popularity of DNA testing programmes such as those hosted by Tinashe Mugabe. These programmes have captivated audiences while simultaneously exposing painful realities that many families face behind closed doors.
For many viewers, the results revealed on such shows are shocking. Men who have spent years, sometimes decades, believing they are biological fathers suddenly learn that the children they have nurtured, educated, protected and sacrificed for share no biological connection with them. The emotional impact of such revelations is profound and often underestimated.
The public discussion surrounding these cases frequently centres on the issue of infidelity or the dramatic moment of the DNA result itself. However, less attention is paid to the psychological and emotional consequences experienced by the men involved. The discovery can trigger feelings of betrayal, humiliation, grief, anger, confusion and loss.
In many instances, men describe the experience as the collapse of a fundamental aspect of their identity.
Fatherhood is more than a biological designation. It becomes woven into a man’s sense of purpose, responsibility and self-worth. When that foundation is suddenly challenged, the emotional consequences can be comparable to other major life traumas. Yet society often expects men to absorb such blows without visible distress.
The pain is further compounded by the fact that the child involved is often entirely innocent. Many men find themselves torn between the biological truth revealed by science and the emotional bond forged through years of parenting.
The child may still see the man as their father, regardless of genetics.
Consequently, men are frequently forced to navigate a complex emotional landscape where feelings of betrayal coexist with genuine love and commitment.
These situations also expose broader questions about trust and honesty within relationships. Trust serves as the cornerstone of family life. When deception regarding paternity occurs, it does not merely affect the man involved. It impacts children, extended families and entire support networks. Relationships built over years can fracture overnight, leaving emotional scars that endure long after the DNA results are known.
However, reducing these stories solely to narratives of victimhood would overlook another important dimension: the remarkable resilience demonstrated by many men.
While some men understandably withdraw following such discoveries, others make difficult decisions to continue supporting and raising children who are not biologically theirs. Their choices challenge conventional definitions of fatherhood and remind society that parenting extends beyond genetics. These men demonstrate that fatherhood is ultimately measured not by DNA alone but by presence, commitment, sacrifice and love.
The resilience displayed in such circumstances deserves recognition. Continuing to show up for a child despite personal hurt requires extraordinary emotional strength. It requires a willingness to separate the actions of adults from the needs of a child. It demands maturity, compassion and a deep understanding of what it means to be a parent.
Yet resilience should not be mistaken for invulnerability.
One of the greatest misconceptions surrounding men is the belief that strength means the absence of pain. In reality, strength often involves carrying pain while continuing to fulfil responsibilities. Many men who appear strong externally are battling anxiety, depression, stress, loneliness and emotional exhaustion internally.
Statistics across the world consistently show that men are less likely than women to seek professional help for mental health challenges. They are more likely to delay medical consultations, less likely to discuss emotional difficulties and often struggle in silence until problems become severe.
This pattern contributes to poorer health outcomes and in many countries, higher rates of suicide among men.
Men’s Mental Health month therefore provides an important opportunity to broaden conversations about men’s wellbeing. Physical health remains essential, but genuine wellbeing also includes emotional, psychological, relational and social health.
Men need spaces where vulnerability is not viewed as weakness but as a natural aspect of being human.
This shift requires collective effort. Families can encourage open communication. Partners can create environments where honesty and empathy flourish. Communities can challenge harmful stereotypes that equate masculinity with emotional suppression.
Workplaces can promote mental health awareness among male employees. Religious and civic institutions can foster conversations that acknowledge men’s struggles without judgment.
Importantly, supporting men does not diminish the challenges faced by women. Human wellbeing is not a competition. Healthy families and communities emerge when the needs of all members are recognised and addressed. A society that encourages men to seek support, express emotion and maintain healthy relationships benefits everyone.
As we celebrate Father’s Day, it is also worth reflecting on the many forms that fatherhood takes. Biological fathers, adoptive fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, guardians, mentors and father figures all contribute meaningfully to the lives of children.
Their influence often extends far beyond financial provision. They offer guidance, protection, encouragement, discipline and emotional support.
Many fathers make significant sacrifices that go unnoticed. They work long hours, suppress personal struggles and place the needs of their families ahead of their own.
Some continue to parent despite separation, economic hardship, illness or personal disappointment. Others raise children who may not share their DNA but unquestionably share their hearts.
Their stories remind us that fatherhood is not simply a matter of biology. It is a daily commitment expressed through actions, consistency and care.
As we celebrate Men’s Mental Health month and Father’s Day, perhaps the most meaningful tribute we can offer men is permission to be fully human. To acknowledge that they can be strong and vulnerable at the same time. To recognise that resilience and emotional pain can coexist.
To understand that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but an act of courage.
Behind many fathers, husbands, brothers, sons and friends are untold stories of sacrifice, disappointment, perseverance and hope.
Some carry the wounds of betrayal. Some grapple with uncertainty. Some quietly struggle with mental and emotional burdens. Yet many continue to rise each day, fulfil their responsibilities and contribute positively to the lives of those around them.
Their resilience deserves celebration. Their vulnerability deserves understanding. And their wellbeing deserves attention not only during Men’s Mental Health Month or on Father’s Day but throughout the year.
Only when society embraces both the strength and the vulnerability of men can we truly foster healthier families, stronger relationships and more compassionate communities.
