The war of the cellphone

Tendai Mbirimi
Technology, especially mobile phones, are responsible for a great many marital disputes and even divorce.
Evidence is there — the courts deal with these matters every day and newspapers are awash with stories of cheats that are given away by their cellphones.
A recent ruling by Justice Tawanda Chitapi to the effect that snooping into someone’s phone contravenes Section 57(d) of the Constitution of Zimbabwe — which guarantees every person the right to privacy, including communication privacy — indicates that within matrimony there is also need to respect each other’s privacy.
“There is no law which provides that a husband or wife has a right to infringe on the privacy of the other’s communications,” noted Justice Chitapi.
Thus, your spouse can easily declare: “Everything on me is yours, but keep a distance from my phone lest you get incarcerated.”
Really?
Tempting as it may appear, snooping into other peoples private spaces has resulted in crimes of passion, some fatal.
Eunice Maphalule, a voluntary social worker, says that in marriage it is important for one to be able to separate theoretical assertions and reality.
“Some information which spouses can handle in confidence may not be necessarily of infidelity nature. Most women hardly spend a day without meeting a man who makes sexual advances towards them. Some men may even go as far as texting. As a woman, you will not feel comfortable revealing it to your husband whenever it happens in fear of matrimonial censure,” says Eunice.
“This is not limited to women alone, but to men as well. Most husbands feel bad to show their wives text message where his ex-baby mama wants a reconciliation, or where his family members are disapproving their union.
“There is a high risk that a message, which is not intended for you may mean something different if you have access to it; at times its better to live in the dark than to open Pandora’s box” she added.
Pastor Simba Woloza, a marriage coach with the Strong Bonds Marriage Initiative, has a different story.
“For me the big question in this whole matrix is whether married people have any privacy at all. Marriage is built on several pillars and one of them is the law of openness. It is this law that sets up the couple for achieving various forms of marital intimacy.
“Denying your spouse access into your technological domains where you spend much of your time is clearly not allowing your spouse access into you. Sexual intimacy is the highest level of openness in marriage and I don’t think it is practical for one to open up sexually and at the same time refuse to open up financially, historically, spiritually or technologically,” says Pr Woloza. (See The Sunday Mail Religion for his full opinion piece.)
Coming across information which you have not been expecting may result in sudden strong impulses, such as sudden rage. This will result in crimes of passion.
Instead of prying into each other’s gargets, it is better to seek common ground. If one insists on the private policy and you are one of those who are not good in the area of emotional management, stay away from his/her cell phone.
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