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Dr Itayi Garande Correspondent
IN primary school I was fortunate to have great teachers. One of them told me a story I have not forgotten since the tender age of 12. It’s a story about missed opportunities. The story is about a king who instructed his servants to place a big piece of rock on the road. The king then hid and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.
Many people – including the king’s merchants – came by and simply walked around it. They blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear and secure. No one did anything to move the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying vegetables to sell at the market. On seeing the big rock, the peasant laid down his vegetables and tried to move the stone to the side of the road.
After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.
As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king saying that the gold was for the person who removed the rock from the roadway.
The peasant learned what many others never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one’s condition.
I always tell people my story when I first came to the United Kingdom over 20 years ago. I worked many jobs, but the most memorable one was as a porter in a hospital, despite the fact that I was already a graduate and a professional who had worked in international organisations. People expected me not to do this.
I had to do what I had to in order to survive.
Years later, when I set up my first business – an employment company – the first contract I got was from that company which had hired me as a porter. They liked my work ethic and knew we could work together, and we did for almost 10 years.
I never looked at the porter’s job as a menial job, but simply as a job that someone had to do and it was me who had to do it at that time.
Many times we overestimate our importance and miss opportunities.
Anyone who has watched the film, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, will recall a line in there which says: “Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.”
I have seen many people lose vital life-changing opportunities because they present themselves as better than the rest. “I’m a doctor”, “I’m a government minister”, “I’m a pastor”, “I’m more learned than you”, they say.
These labels do not give you monopoly over wisdom, or better life knowledge, or better success. Some people did not reach those stages because of choices made by their parents, or did not get opportunities you had. It doesn’t make them less intelligent.
I know a very intelligent friend of mine who became a computer whizz much later in life. He was denied education by a nasty stepmother. He later went through painful self-education when we were much older and today leads a big corporation’s IT department.
He was determined. He never cried over his bad upbringing. He was simply focused, determined and never missed an opportunity to learn from others.
Sometimes we stare opportunities in the face, yet we go the other direction.
We miss opportunities to make friends, to learn from others because we think we know it all or have it all. We miss opportunities to take on a role or to take part in something larger than our small circle because we worry about what other people will think of us. We worry about the image we want to portray.
People who make it in life care less about labels or how they are perceived by the rest of society. Achievers see beyond what the majority sees and grab opportunities to succeed.
How many times do you look at someone and think, “I would never do that. I’m embarrassed” or say, “She is mad”?
That is what makes the difference between success and failure.
Successful people care less about “embarrassment”. They look at the outcome and the happiness that it brings. They are simply focused.
That’s why we have toilet cleaners whose kids are doctors and lawyers. They do not miss opportunities to educate their children.
They are not embarrassed to move the big rock on the road, so they get the gold.
In his book, “The Audacity of Hope”, Barack Obama tells how he was dismissed by many of his trusted colleagues when he told them he wanted to run for president of the United States of America. He would have missed an opportunity if he had not run, or had listened to those other voices. The rest is history.
My first day in law school, we were asked what we’ve always wanted to do. Most people, apparently, had not done what they wanted to do. There were many excuses and time was the most common one.
The lecturer asked how many people had more than 24 hours in their day. We all kept quiet.
Then she reminded us that those who will pass with distinction will also have the same time as those who will fail. It is what we do with our 24 hours each day till examination time that mat- ters.
“Don’t fear death, fear the un-lived life,” says Natalie Babbitt in the fantasy children’s novel “Tuck Everlasting”. If you prepare well, you worry less, so start preparing today.
You don’t have to make big strides. Small, smart moves are the best because they last long.
A friend of ours died 10 years ago in Bromley, Kent. While we were agonising about how to raise money to get his body home, a funeral director came and told us he had planned everything before he died, including ticket payments for two of his siblings to go to Zim- babwe.
For over five years, he had saved money for his burial and enough to send home for funeral expenses.
He saw the big picture.
We never see the big picture. That’s the tragedy of missed opportunities. Grab that opportunity to make a difference today. Worry not about what other people think. They are probably quietly wishing they had your guts or your drive.
Life is a big puzzle, put all your pieces together while you still have the opportunity to do so. Or regret it for- ever.
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