adminThe unregistered customary marriage requires that the couple be blessed and approved by their parents and relatives for them to be legally married in terms of our customs. This means that the man needs to propose to the woman, he then initiates the process of formalising the relationship.
This is done according to the concerned tribe, but generally the man is introduced to the aunt or grandmother of the woman and then she is also introduced to the same people on the side of the man. Then he will take the relationship further by sending a go-between (umkhongi) to his in-laws to negotiate lobola. The lobola process comprises payments of isivulamlomo, ukangaziwe, impahla zikamama lobaba, and the core lobola itself, that is, if it is in the Ndebele context. In the Shona context I am told it is a little bit different. Once this has been done fully or partly the man is usually allowed to take his wife. However, nowadays some parents insist on a wedding before the man can take his wife. This type of marriage is the foundation of all acceptable marriages in Africa. Basically civil marriages or registered marriages are largely optional rather than a priority. A marriage is not a marriage even though registered when lobola is not paid/ negotiated.
If the two are married the property they own belongs to them individually meaning that the owner is the one it is registered under. If the cattle or the house is registered in the name of the husband it means that he is the owner of that and the wife is not. If the couple is separating the relatives and the parents of the couple are informed as they were informed from the beginning when the couple was married.
The unregistered customary marriage is advantageous in that the relatives and the parents of the couple are aware of the union unlike that one of cohabitation. However, this type of marriage to a greater extent has more disadvantages than advantages. This is because there is no documentary proof to prove that the two are/were married. Even if the unregistered customary marriage is accepted in Zimbabwe, it is no guarantee that the couple is protected from each other. For one to be successful and gain support from the law they have to partake in the marriage of the general law, that is, the registered customary marriage or the Civil Marriages Act Chapters 5:11 because they have the documentary proof in the form of marriage certificates. Zimbabwean law is based on evidence, if you allege you have to prove for your case to be considered.
In this type of marriage, the wife or husband cannot do anything that needs both in the absence of the other spouse. The decisions pertaining to the couple cannot be done single-handedly. The remaining spouse cannot register their inheritance in the event of death in the magistrate’s court without the relatives of the deceased. This causes many people especially women to fall victim to property grabbing and abuse.
The unregistered customary marriage disadvantages the children in the sense that one spouse, for example, the mother, cannot obtain a birth certificate for the child in the absence of the other spouse. One cannot claim that the child belongs to the man unless he agrees and is there to sign paternity forms. The other problem is that the remaining spouse cannot register the death of their deceased spouse in the absence of the spouse’s family. This means that if the relatives are not available the children cannot have access to their parent’s death certificate, which is a core requirement for them to be registered for birth certificates, that is, if the parent died before obtaining the birth certificate for the child. Some relatives deliberately refuse to participate in the birth and registration as a way of fixing the widow or as a way of property grabbing. Some relatives simply state that their relative was single yet he was married.
The death certificate, not the burial order, is the only proof that the child is an orphan or that the wife or husband is a widow or widower. The death certificate helps the child to receive help from institutions that cater for orphans. The unregistered customary marriage infringes on the right of the remaining spouse to register the property of the deceased without the presence of the relatives. In most situations the relatives usually refuse to partake because their eyes are glued on the inheritance or they are planning to grab the property. If the relatives refuse to help, the children of the deceased will lose their inheritance, which would have assisted in the continuation of their education.
If the death certificate of the parent is not available the child is not identified as an orphan, which then infringes on their right to guardianship.
Choosing to get married in terms of the unregistered customary marriage only is just as good as throwing your family wishes down the drain, but if you choose to get married in terms of it, then start budgeting for witnesses’ expenses so that your children will not have problems tomorrow. I mean money for one person who will accompany your wife to register your own death, money for people who will accompany her to register your estate and please ensure that your spouse is always in good books with your family. If not and if you cannot afford the above costs, please register your marriage today.
*For your views and comments; the author is available at [email protected] or in the following numbers: 0773 195 055/09883102/0971038.
Online Reporter
Sidumisile Mabena