Violence not the way to register displeasure

before turning to the husband, whom she gave a thorough hiding in front of shocked onlookers.
The embarrassed man had to be restrained from committing suicide.
The missus said it was the second time she had fished him out of the same flat, with the same woman.
While I do not subscribe to extramarital affairs, I believe the woman registered her displeasure in the most disgusting way.
She could have done things better.
If anything, she displayed the highest degree of violence in the most repugnant manner.
With her skirt flying over her face, leaving nothing to imagination, the woman appeared unstoppable and undoubtedly was not in a compromising mood and would have gunned down the brother in cold blood had she been given the opportunity to do so.
Instead of empathising with the woman for her demise of living with a philanderer, I am convinced a lot of women couldn’t help but feel sorry for the man, and even felt for the children backhome who might be victims to such unmatched anger from their mother.
You don’t need a rocket scientist to tell you that the two lead a violent life, something that has probably filtered to their children, who now might view fighting and match-slinging as good tenets of conflict resolution.
They no longer have faith in dialoguing to resolve differences and that kind of thinking is dangerous.
For all what it is, and for all what is worth, violence should be condemned in the strongest terms, and should not be used to resolve differences.
In any marriage or a long- term relationship, there is bound to be problems and serious differences that may be largely due to ideological differences or are influenced by several other factors.
And when that happens, people should not be quick to play the mind game where they hastily apportion blame, react angrily and subsequently resort to violence as a means to an end, when they should instead be carrying a self-introspection exercise to establish where they went wrong.
Even if that does not happen, it is still important to think of the consequences and the survival of the marriage or relationships once you go a step lower and engage in a physical confrontation.
More often than not, spouses do the most extraordinary and deplorable things during the heat of the moment, and just go on vitriolic attacks on each other to the extent of labeling each other’s parents and relatives as thugs and other evil-minded individuals.
They become consumed in hate that they fail to contain their anger and attacks anyone associated with their spouse, erasing any possibilities of engaging in meaningful dialogue.
Reports abound of some aggrieved spouses who even drag their marital woes to each other’s workplaces, inflicting further damage and exacerbating their marital problems, instead of looking for solutions to ease their woes.
When that happens it becomes a battle of supremacy where each spouse arm themselves with ammunition employing dirty tactics that include name calling, and all sorts of hurtful strategies.
That alone worsens the situation and in the process results in a corrosive situation, where each party feels aggrieved, unfairly treated and sees no reason why they should continue with such a union.
I am no expert on marital matters, but I know that no matter how bad things are, and regardless of how severe problems may be between two people, the marriage institution should not be the bastion of violence.
Never should be violence be used as a strategy to resolve differences, because it only worsens the situation, further tearing the fundamental fabric that keeps a marriage or any relationship intact.
Violence should not be used as a negotiation tool, neither should it be used to enforce respect, coerce affection or become a weapon to instill discipline in an errant and irresponsible partner.
History has shown that women are not the only ones who manipulate and challenge their spouses, just as men aren’t the only ones who fight or flee, but both should not violate each other, as a conflict resolution strategy.
Use of violence does not edify a relationship, neither does it solve any problems the two may be having, but it worsens any vagarious situation that could had been handled properly had each partner been considerate enough to talk about their problems in a non-violent manner.  
Violence takes many forms, but each one of them is as bad as the next and needs to be stopped forthwith.
There is nothing as dehumanising as living in an abusive relationship because you lose your self-esteem, you blame yourself for having invited the abuse on yourself, and worse still society will apportion the blame on you if they see you with a black eye, the next day.
While the nation may have certainly forgotten about Million’s incident, it may not be easy for the two to patch up their differences and pretend that all is well.
Let’s trust each other to solve our problems without resorting to violence.