Sundaymail Editor
I WAS dead broke and burying my misery in reading a voluminous Victorian literature book when a nephew of mine suddenly turned up with his curvy and light-skinned heartthrob for impromptu introductions.
“Surprise, surprise, surprise!” he shouted as he ushered his girlfriend into my lounge.
At this point, I just went blank.
I just did not know what to do as I neither had a cobble to prepare them a sumptuous dish befitting such an occasion nor refreshments.
My wife could not help it but burst into laughter as she welcomed the guests.
Though pleasing to be paid surprise visits, at times, one is left between a rock and a hard place. The same happens when you have an ailment in the family. Some people will come around to offer you comfort and company, but little do they appreciate that they will be adding salt to injury.
Called “vaenzi”, “hweni“, “varendo” or “forinezhi”, among a host of other names, visitors need to be organised.
In this day and age, when almost everything, including water, is paid for, it is more than cruel to pay someone a visit unannounced and expect to receive a warm reception.
People are going through a lot to survive, and it is worse than driving a sharp knife into one’s heart when you add to their misery by just emerging like wild mushrooms.
“Tekutambirai imi mauya, tekutambirai masvika. Tinekutambirai imi mauya, tinekutambirai nemawoko maviri, nemi mangouyawo, tekutambira matitsika. Musha haungave musha, musha, musha nevaenzi,” sang the legendary Oliver Mtukudzi in his soulful piece called “Matitsika”, whose appeal was enhanced by his raspy voice.
May his soul rest in peace.
According to African tradition, paying someone a visit is a huge sign of togetherness, acceptance and love.
People are known to be related through regular visits to one another and occasionally being seen wining and dining together; kurova kanyama kane futa.
However, whenever we set about visiting someone, we need to make sure we have enough provisions to last us for the duration of our visit. There is no harm in carrying with us our bathing towel, soap, body cream, changing clothes and food.
If a relative we are visiting is renting, we must mind our numbers because some property owners do not want many people at their houses.
We should also mind the stories we discuss during our visits because some people we grew up with have started life all over again and have their new partners who do not take kindly to stories about old girlfriends, boyfriends and trysts of years gone by.
“I was living pretty well with my wife until my nephew came visiting. He started talking about my old lovers and my wife did not like it. He was also too loud and would occasionally remind me of the poverty I grew up in and this spoiled the party,” a friend once told this writer.
Sharing similar sentiments, a guzzler who was in the same bar said: “Things went haywire when my younger brother brought along photos of us with my old lover at a vacation in Kariba. I just do not know why he did so. To this day, my wife does not like him and thinks he is out to destroy our marriage and/or appreciates the old lover of mine better than her.”
A workmate said: “Some people just talk too much when they come visiting. They want to be in control of conversations and most women do not want people who come with airs of authority in their households. People must learn to have limits, kwete kungotaura zvese zvese.”
Gentle reader, when we decide to visit people for leisure or to see the sick, let us avoid being a burden to those people we would be trying to comfort and let us eat moderately and not appear as if we intend to sink them deeper into trouble.
Inotambika mughetto.
Feedback: rosenthal. mutakati@ zimpapers.co.zw
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