The moment you elevate them to the level of the Biblical Samson and lower yourself to the status of the Philistines, you know you have steered yourself off harm’s way.
Vakadzi havaregerere!
But if a woman comes into the equation, it degenerates into something else. When wronged, some women visit those with spirits of divination, the visionary and those who cast spells to find ways of wounding the other party just to disturb their life.
They will even use words more poisonous than a venomous snake to spite a rival. This is not confined to human beings, because even in the jungle, a lioness with cubs is more dangerous than the male.
A good number of women will take time off duty to “deal” with the matter.
“Sir, I need time off to attend to my ailing husband. He is due to go for an operation,” some determined women will lie to their bosses through the skin of their teeth just to get ample time to consult prophets operating in vleis and bushy areas across the city. There is just something about women and the spiritual world. If you see a prophet with no women among his flock, then he is not worth his salt. But if he is good especially in dishing out love potions and taming stray husbands, his shrine will grow.
He will even become the talk of town because everyone wants to be loved and treated with tender care like an egg. But when threatened, women stop cooing like doves and start behaving like animals of the wild.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
“Yangu haipere yakadaro. Tinotosotana chete,” they declare while sweating profusely despite wearing thick layers of make-up. Vengeful women will leave no stone unturned until they exact their revenge. It really becomes a veduwee, veduwee situation. It’s not a one-size-fits-all affair because people are different, but women seem to take long to forgive. They won’t let go of an enemy easily.
Attend any maintenance court session and see how women treat their erstwhile lovers. For a moment you would think they never shared a bed with the fathers of the children they will be claiming maintenance for.
They will use the most demeaning of words to assassinate the men’s character and pass him off for an ape in trousers. It can be worse if you are a weakling because you can be pulled left, right and centre just to make you understand how powerful they can be.
You can be forced to change your eating and drinking habits if you make the mistake of crossing an unforgiving woman’s path. As I commit pen to paper gentle reader, I am failing to locate a certain bloke who reportedly called off an affair with the daughter of a “powerful” man in the ghetto.
“Ari parun,” “Ari pamudhudhudhu,” “Akabaleka,” or “Akarova tsaransinsa,” you hear guys saying in street lingo, demonstrating how his decision cost his freedom in the ghetto. Separating with some women is as if you have committed a crime, worse than murder.
There are women who are prepared to bed policemen who are much younger than their own children just to ensure people who wronged them are made to bite the shortest end of the sherry. Others will hire the dirtiest of thugs or go on a smear campaign to tarnish your image.
“Women do not forgive. A certain woman was claiming maintenance which far outstrips her former husband’s salary. When told that her claim was excessive, she claimed the guy would treat her to niceties during the subsistence of their affair and could not fail to afford,” a certain bloke told this writer.
The bloke said his younger brother was being blackmailed by a certain cougar he no longer loved.
“The young fellow is in trouble. Ari patight sesokisi rehuku rinoda mvura inopisa. She has sent all sorts of people to threaten us and I do not think we can take this any more.
“The other time she hired touts to humiliate my brother and we had to intervene. Women are not the best of people to wrong,” he said.
So awash are stories of women’s vengefulness that you can write a top selling novel out of the way they behave whenever they feel scorned or that their resilience is being tested in the most difficult way.
Newly-divorced ladies, yours truly heard, can offer their new lovers drinks at the former husband’s favourite club. They will invite the unsuspecting lover over and engage in unsavoury public displays of effect in the hope of spiting the former husband.
After taking one too many, they may even accuse the former husband of fondling their breasts or buttocks so that the new lover springs into action.
But not many of them have been so lucky because some former husbands fight as though their hands are connected to electricity. Vanorwa kunge vanoshandisa generator. It doesn’t end there. Some women take their boyfriends along to boarding school visiting days knowing fully well that the child’s biological father will be present. This, yours truly is reliably informed, they do to send a clear message to the erstwhile husband that they are still in the game or that they at least managed to get a better lover.
“If you want to see how vengeful women can be, wait until their child falls sick and gets admitted to hospital. They will visit the child in the company of a lover so that their former in-laws see for themselves that their son was not the end of the world.
“They will even kiss the new man in their life right in front of everyone so that word goes around that the tyres of their love vehicle are not deflated,” a certain guzzler told this writer while wiping sweat off his furrowed brow. Yours truly is also reliably informed that some women visit their jailed former husbands in the walls of prison to tell them that they cannot wait any longer and are moving on with their life. This they do walking arm-in-arm with a stranger while donning thigh-revealing outfits.
N’angas also have long tales to tell about ditched women who approach them seeking potions to eliminate those who left them in the cold. They also tell of huge financial rewards they are offered, including sexual favours, to undertake such gory assignments.
Policemen, prosecutors and magistrates are also hired. A wronged woman behaves worse than a wounded buffalo.
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