WEDDINGS: Marriage requires patience, endurance

Tendai Mbirimi
Bridal writer
Marriage is not a stroll in the park, it requires patience and endurance.
More marriages would survive if spouses realised that sometimes, the “better” comes after the “worse”.
In Zimbabwe, wedding business witnessed rapid growth since the turn of the millennium.
Many residential places have been turned into wedding venues or bridal parlours.
No weekend passes by without some private or public nuptial celebrations.
This has turned out to be a lucrative business.
However, statistics obtained from the courts published in December last year by our sister paper, The Herald, indicate that divorce cases are on the increase.
This is ultimately bad news for the families involved, the wedding industry and the country at large.
The data indicates that at least 1 417 couples filed for divorce in 2015, showing an increase of about 9 percent from 1 297 cases recorded in 2014.
Divorce is not an event, it is a process that leaves physical and emotional lifetime scars at most times.
When one is going through a divorce process, his or her contribution at work, church or any social gathering usually becomes low. This has an indirect bearing on the immediate community and the national output.
This increase in divorce cases is a cause for concern.
Marriage officers, marriage counsellors and the Government must device strategies that can alleviate this scourge.
Fairly young and newly married couples constitute a greater percentage of those divorcing. The rate at which young people are quick to file for divorce shows that there is a missing link somewhere. Could it be the growing disintegration of the extended family?
Traditionally, the aunts and uncles used to play a pivotal role in marriage counselling, which would bring about alternative methods of resolving marital disputes ahead of divorce.
However, this system has since collapsed. The church is trying to play the role but is not being very successful.
People come to church with simulated images that does not accurately portray them, thereby making pastors and counsellors depend on secondary or refined information. Where the traditional aunts were concerned, they would have access to “classified” information through their involvement in the family’s events.
The unacceptability of divorce is reinforced from culture to culture and even in religion.
There is stigma around divorce, especially for women. Divorce is often viewed as an ultimate failure on the part of the woman. Terms like “mvana” (single mother) or “akarambwa” are often used in reference to a divorced woman.
No one cares about the reasons why she is a divorcee, even if she was the one who initiated termination of the marriage contract.
In the best interest of our societal values, divorce should not be part of the marital vocabulary. It should come as a last resort.
Remember that nuptial bliss is possible through open dialogue between spouses.
As we congratulate all those who made it and tied the knot in 2015, we wish them everlasting happiness in their marriages.
The Sunday Mail Bridal team wishes you a blissful matrimonial 2016.