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Fadzayi Maposah-Correspondent
I do not know how many of you have watched or watch African movies?
There was a time when Zimbabweans were in a total frenzy regarding African movies. To be honest these were not African movies, rather they were mainly Nigerian movies.
My goodness, these movies were something else. Some of them were very scary, some left you hanging and curious.
The ones that left you hanging were the worst. Such movies had potential to strain relationships as people discussed what could have happened next. Disagreements usually ensued as people failed to agree!
I remember a very long time before the African movies, when we were visiting my aunt, Tete Rebecca, and we were watching a soap opera.
She really did not want us to watch soaps. She had her own issues with soaps. They filled people’s minds with crazy ideas she used to say. Anyway, she would let us watch, occasionally.
On some days though, she would from nowhere come and just switch off the black and white television set and assign us things to do.
The tasks that would assign us could range from rearranging the many book shelves in her lounge to sorting the washed laundry to reading The Bible or singing a hymn that she liked! It was unpredictable.
The worst scenario was being made to sit still while she shared the bad side of just sitting and doing nothing (sitting and doing nothing as far Tete Rebecca was concerned was watching TV and knowing the characters on TV better than we knew some of our relatives!)
Tete Rebecca could start by asking a question like “Whose daughter is Maria?”
In our innocence we would ask “Maria upi Tete?” (Which Maria Aunt?)
Such questions would make Tete very angry! Then she would start asking: “What kind of a question is that?”
As I always say, life is lived forwards but yet understood backwards. I am so sure Tete Rebecca had menopausal issues and the mood swings that she had are better explained by menopause.
The mood swings made her very unpredictable.
At times she was very bubbly, other times she would be quiet busy on her knitting machine. That she would brew a cup of tea to have while she listened to the late night radio news is confirmation that Tete was dealing with menopause. She would also wake up very early too.
On some days she would sit on her verandah fanning herself madly with a book that she had tried reading.
Anyway back to the time my siblings and my cousins were at my Aunt’s house watching a soap on her black and white TV.
When we started discussing that the ending was too abrupt and that we were not sure what would happen later, one my Uncles who was also visiting I remember telling us not to worry. We did not ask him why we were not supposed to worry and even before we could say anything he had an answer.
The answer that he gave remains a quotable quote in our family up to today.
“Don’t worry we will hear the outcome on the radio news before we sleep,” he said.
So imagine this, you are aching to laugh but loud laughter will only get you into trouble. What we did is we left that lounge one by one to the bedrooms we had been allocated for our visit. There we giggled into pillows…
Back to the Nigerian movies.
I do not know how many Nigerian movies I watched, but there are many where one similar stance would be made. Those who have watched Nigerian movies will agree that they have seen that scene.
Let me share the scene. During that scene an individual would either walk into an office, a room, a homestead, it is basically about making some grand entrance.
This grand entrance needed an audience. So picture whatever scenario that you want. The individual would make the grand entrance then clap their hands over their head with a lightning sound, quick release of the hands then call out: “Witchcraft wooo! Abomination!”
What I learnt from these movies was that it was not that these people could prove that there was some witchcraft at play, but that phrase meant that they had analysed the situation and they failed to find the words to describe the situation.
They did not have to wait for the late night news to clarify issues…..
I was minding my business while I sat with a group of male colleagues who were having small talk.
I do not know how they suddenly started talking about women and their mood swings. Since they considered themselves to be well versed in the subject, I listened quietly.
One of them was of the opinion that women did not communicate fully what they felt so it was not easy dealing with them.
Another said that if one listened to women too much, one would end up confused. So what was the solution another asked.
“Nod your head each time a woman says something that can cause tension,” one suggested.
One disagreed, it would be evidence that one had received a love potion, he said. The others laughed.
Women another said were especially difficult when they were aging like Fadzi another said. At the mention of my name I looked up.
“Witchcraft woo!” I exclaimed like in an African movie. They were stunned.
“Let us plan for a proper talk on what it is like getting to menopause,” I said. “I will give you information and you can ask as many questions as you want.”
They agreed.
So when the talk is done I would like these colleagues to have so much information about menopause that they can only have two words for their behaviour so far “witchcraft woo!”
Online Reporter