Who is responsible for contraception in a relationship?

Yoliswa Dube-Moyo
JAH Prayzah and his wife Rufaro recently welcomed their first son together, bringing their children to a total of five.

When Jah Prayzah, real name Mukudzei Mukombe, shared the news with his fans via a comical video on social media, many were quick to do the maths and counted how many children he already had. They were surprised that he had a new baby.

Some were quick to say he now “had too many children” while others defended him saying there’s no limit to how many children one can have as long as they can afford them.

The news was met by critics who said the couple needed to take contraceptive use seriously, particularly his wife who they said had the power to control how many children the couple could have.

“Maybe they were looking for a boy,” one fan said.

Jah Prayzah and Rufaro already had three daughters together. In the African context, some families believe a makoti has been “useful” once she has given birth to a son. Male children have always been considered heir apparent and carry the family name.

Another fan said: “This is the 21st century, a child is a child. Why put his wife under so much pressure to have a boy?” That said, some might add that had Rufaro not wanted another child, she could’ve made use of contraceptives.

Which leaves us with the question; who is responsible for contraception in a relationship?

For years, women had little to no control over their fertility. Education and accessibility of birth control was almost non-existent. In fact, it is only in the past century that birth control has become widely accessible, although comprehensive sex education is still lacking.

Much credit for the increase in birth control use and education can be given to Margaret Sanger, an American nurse and birth control activist.

However, Sanger was of the opinion that birth control was purely a woman’s responsibility. She gave women the sole responsibility of birth control, also giving them power they did not previously possess.

Her decision to give women primary responsibility was probably the best one for her purposes. Yet, the world has changed dramatically since Sanger began her fight and now we must ask, should women really be solely responsible for pregnancy prevention?

Other important questions to consider while analysing birth control are whether birth control methods promote gender equality, do they empower women like we think they do, is birth control empowering for men?

Men have five options; condoms, abstinence, vasectomy, withdrawal and outercourse while women have female condoms, tubal ligation, IUD’s, the pill, the Nuva Ring, the patch, diaphragm, cervical cap, Depo-Provera, outercourse and abstinence.

Based on methods alone, we see that the responsibility of preventing pregnancy is placed much more heavily on women.

This responsibility carries over into other aspects of life as well. It is also no coincidence that overall, women still perform more childcare tasks than their male counterparts, although the gap is lessening.

The responsibility for birth control does not just effect whose fault it is if a pregnancy does occur. It has financial, medical and social implications as well. Since most birth control methods are made exclusively for women, they are more likely to pay for them.

Birth control is not cheap. Additionally, medically speaking, birth control might have many effects on a woman’s body like nausea, bleeding, headaches and weight gain.

Depending on a woman’s social location, she may also be condemned or stigmatised for her use of birth control if she is not married. And yet, it is empowering for women to be responsible for their sexual reproductive health, whether they are married or not.

Conclusively, it is both partners’ responsibility to ensure that they have safer sex, and use contraception to prevent unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and HIV.

Both men and women should always be prepared for safer sex, and that means using condoms and other contraceptive methods.

While women can take oral contraceptive pills and use other contraceptive methods to avoid unplanned pregnancies, condoms are the only form of contraception that prevents both STIs and unplanned pregnancies if used correctly.

It is both partners’ responsibility to think about, and discuss using contraception. Therefore, it should be assumed Mr and Mrs Mukombe BOTH wanted another child. — @Yolisswa