Why I am glad to be a woman

you were one of the unfortunates of this lifetime.
The natural monthly cycle of the female body was even called the curse.
There are now a million types of convenient sanitary towels and efficient painkillers. And even better, women are no longer expected to be burnt alive when their husbands die or shut their mouths even when they have better ideas than all the men present combined.
In fact, today, if you are a modern woman with half a brain and a corresponding ability to earn a basic living then you may be better off than the man next to you. Here is my list of why I am glad that when I was born, they told my mother, “Congratulations, it’s a girl!”
1. I can dress in pants or skirts without attracting speculation as to my sexual orientation. Yes skirts for guys have started appearing on the catwalks but let any man who is not a member of a pipe band dare walk down the street in one without being called a drag queen.
I can have long hair, short hair, dreadlocks or even go bold and no one will raise an eyelid. I can wear flat shoes or killer heels just as the mood takes me. If that is not the true meaning of freedom then what is?
2. Being a modern woman means I am able to tell one end of a screw driver from the other and I can connect the network cable as well as change a flat tyre. But normally I do not have to do any of those things for there is usually a man who believes that a woman cannot possibly do any of the traditionally masculine jobs, overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
So I will flutter my hands in exaggerated feminine helplessness and let him get on with it, safe in the knowledge that if he was not there, I would still be able to get the job done, and maybe even do it better at that.
3. I can still do all the traditionally feminine jobs like cooking, baking and sewing better than most men unless the latter have taken the field as a profession. Having a full time career has not stopped the modern woman from being an efficient homemaker and a good mother but get me a man who can cook a meal, do the dishes and rock the baby after a day’s work and I will show you a maverick.
4. I am confident that I am beautiful because every woman is beautiful. Tall, short, dark, slim, big, light-skinned or dark of complexion every woman has someone who will propose love to her at least once in her lifetime.
At least once in her lifetime every woman will get flowers, a romantic date, a declaration of undying love or even just a whistle and a catcall as she walks down the street.
And very few men can claim that they have received the same from women they are not already involved with, even in this age of emancipation when women are also hunters and not just the prey in the game of love.
5. When I succeed the pleasure is double because I know that I could always use my gender as an excuse to fail. Because a lot of people still have the attitude that woman should limit their lives to the kitchen and conversation to talk about babies and church.
Women who make it even in the most modest ways become automatic heroines and role models.
6. If I am sad I can cry my heart out without anyone thinking that I am disgustingly weak example of the human species with no backbone to speak of.
But just let a man shed a tear at an inopportune moment and he will be reviled and his sexual preferences will again come under the microscope.
7. The man can take over the kitchen, bath the baby, change nappies and connect with their feminine side as much as they like but not a single one of them can yet carry a baby and literally bring life into the world. Even test tube babies still need to go through a woman to land on planet Earth.
8. I will defeat most men because they will make the mistake of thinking that we have different plumbing.
It means we were born with an inferior mental capacity.
And I will laugh at the chagrin that will result as the particular one realises that he has underestimated me and smile as he grits his teeth to congratulate me while inside he calls me a five letter word that in total truth only refers to a female dog.
9. The world will generally trust me from the beginning because I am a woman. Yes there are female criminals who have enacted crimes as heinous as those committed by their male counterparts.
But people of either sex tend to believe that women are less likely to plunder and pillage as compared to men and statistics say they are right to believe that. So that I means I am a better person because I was born a female.
10. Maybe this is not the most diplomatic thing to say but I will leave longer because I am a woman. Research says we take better care of our health, watch what we eat, exercise more, drink less and smoke less so fate thinks we deserve to live much longer.
And while we are at it, we can enjoy the power we have our dear men as they mutter darkly about how there are more widows than widowers.
They even believe that we have the power of life and death over them!
Those are just a few of the reason why I celebrate having been born a woman 24/7 and not just on special occasions like International Women’s Day and Mother’s Day.
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