Why is divorce so rampant?

The problem we are having today is that people are just getting into marriage without understanding what marriage is.

Some think you can treat marriage like clothes. So they just change their spouses the way they change clothes. We now have a generation that is now filing for divorce for reasons like: “I don’t like how you use toothpaste so I am divorcing you or you put too much salt so I can’t continue to be with you.”

Just because there are no eggs in the house you hear someone saying “I can’t take this any more”. Marriage is one of the few things that God loves personally and it is one of the few things that God has taken sometime to give rules .

For it is written, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh,” Genesis 2 v 24. Once a man and a woman marry, they become one flesh.

The union was designed by God to be a permanent bond that shall not be separated. The only option for ending a union is when adultery is involved .

The major reason why people are divorcing today is mainly to do with adultery. It is usually because one partner decides to be unfaithful. He/she decides to have an extra-marital affair and then concludes, “I think my adulterous affair is better, let me end my marriage”.

What is causing the divorce to happen is wrong because someone was unfaithful in the first place. The idea of trying someone else when you already have a partner is wrong and evil.

When people decide to cheat they will be thinking, “it is only going to be a one-night affair then I will go back to my wife/husband”. Little do they know that they would have opened a door that would be very difficult to close, that will eventually make them forget about their actual marriages or it will start to bring problems in their marriage.

Some of these “extra partners” use juju, once you sleep with them you won’t be able to return to your wife/husband. It is only when the juju expires that one starts regretting and asking questions like “how foolish was I to leave my wife/husband and ending up with this person?”

Some people will only realise their mistakes after they are broke that is when they will know who loves them for whom they are or for their money.

We have people that are getting into marriage for wrong reasons. For some, they get married because they will be feeling cold; for some they marry because they are getting old yet others marry just for the sex.

Marriage is a permanent development and should never be undertaken based on feelings and the weather.

When you marry because of sexual reasons, you shall discover that sex is going to occupy 5 percent of your marriage life but the other 95 percent shall be occupied by commitment and responsibility.

It shall be about working and paying bills, being broke and having financial disagreements and agreements, sickness and being healthy, raising children, dealing with good and bad relatives, surviving storms and sometimes being defeated by the storms.

If you are marrying someone because of appearance, looks shall fade in the next 10 years of your married life because the body is designed to fade as it grows. What will you do?

Before one marries there is need to take time and ask questions like am I marrying because I want to get married or it is because of pressure ?

Am I marrying for myself or for my mother or the people? Do I really love this person or it is simply lust? Is this person my choice or the pastor’s choice? Am I really ready or I have to marry just because all my friends are married?

If one can honestly answer these questions then one is ready for marriage. Many people marry out of societal pressure and they end up taking anyone for marriage which is a recipe for future disaster.

They will soon have incompatibility issues which will eventually lead them to divorcing. I encourage everyone to take time and make the right choice. No need to hurry if the searching process is not yet complete.

Marry your choice. Don’t seek to please anyone but always seek to please yourself because you are the one who is going to live with your choice until death.

Brian Matsaira is a love and relationships coach and can be contacted on [email protected]