Online Reporter
You Can’t Make This Up!
TIME and again, we learn that there can never be a plan that is too clever — only plain stupid.
However, Tambudzai Yvonne Musoni, a former Zimbabwe Revenue Authority (Zimra) employee, thought she could easily change this script.
In her wisdom, or lack thereof, she embarked on a prolific one-woman vehicle clearance carnival.
Her criminal enterprise was premised on turning the civil servants vehicle import scheme — which allows eligible civil servants to import one vehicle duty-free every five years, provided they have at least 10 years of service or two years for health workers — into an elaborate self-enrichment exercise.
Her business model was elegantly simple: If you were not a civil servant, or if Zimra had already rightly told you “no”, Tambudzai would just write you a nice letter.
With a flourish of her pen, she fabricated duty rebates faster than a traffic cop at a roadblock.
The result? Dozens of vehicles zoomed out of ports without paying a cent in duty, while bribes zoomed into her pocket.
One can almost admire the hustle — if it were not so spectacularly short-sighted.
It is the kind of ambition that makes you think if she really thought no one would notice the sudden, suspicious traffic jam of luxury cars all traced back to her desk.
Predictably, it quickly unravelled.
As investigations revved up, Tambudzai performed the classic “strategic resignation” in 2023, perhaps hoping to fade into the sunset in one of her fraudulently cleared SUVs.
But the joke, as it so often does for mamparas, was ultimately on her.
The High Court has just handed her the ultimate parking ticket.
Forfeiture orders have been slapped on a whole garage of goodies: US$37 201 from school trust accounts (because nothing says “investing in the future” like stashing loot in an education fund) and 17 motor vehicles — a fleet now permanently repossessed by the very State she robbed.
Fortunately, some innocent buyers who proved they bought their cars cleanly have been spared.
But for the core crew? It is a total write-off.
The court’s message was clear: You cannot duty-free your way to wealth when the price tag is your entire ill-gotten fleet.
So, let us raise a glass (duty-paid, of course) to Tambudzai.
She aimed for a life in the fast lane but forgot that when you drive a scheme built on fraud, the final destination is always the vehicle forfeiture lot.
Moral of the story: You cannot rebate your way to riches. Crime does not pay; it just gets your assets towed.
