Online Reporter
AH, my lovely people, Zimbabwe is a gift that keeps giving.
So, Zimbabwe launched its very own reality television show (Well, should we call it television show if it is being streamed on YouTube?), “Brother in House”, on June 28.
For those who were expecting glitz and glamour, this was the exact opposite — insofar as launches go, this was an absolute train wreck.
Let us start with the name, shall we?
Mai Juju would think those who conceived this ordinarily brilliant idea needed to be a little bit imaginative.
While we understand they needed to avoid copyright issues by not naming it “Big Brother Zimbabwe”, calling it “Brother in House” is a bit off, if not awkward.
The concept of Big Brother refers to a person or organisation that exercises control over people’s lives.
So, calling such a reality show, where contestants are constantly under surveillance, Big Brother makes sense.
“Brother in the House”, therefore, becomes a poorly and lazily coined version of the same.
The launch night was an absolute disaster.
Picture this: 35 contestants being gracelessly shepherded, one after the other, into what looked like a dingy house.
And that voice-over lady — and here we use the word lady loosely — that was introducing the contestants desperately needs some grooming.
She sounded like she was shrieking introductions from a remote cave somewhere.
That eerie echo from her voice was just off-putting.
Then came the cringeworthy moment of the evening — a stiff-looking Oscar Pambuka shaking hands with contestants like he was greeting mourners with that gravelly and raspy voice that sounded like he had been swallowing sand for breakfast.
Maybe it was the lighting of the set or the quality of the cameras, or something, but the house itself looked dimly and dingly lit like those seedy Harare nightclubs.
The technical difficulties on day one were something else.
The sound was cutting in and out like a politician’s promises.
The organisers said they were “testing gadgets”.
Testing?
On live television?
You only test your gadgets before the show, not during!
That is like learning to drive on the day of your driving test — it rarely ends well!
And who the hell launches what ought to be a riveting 24-hour reality show during the middle of the World Cup tournament?
However — and Mai Juju says this with all sincerity — it is not all doom and gloom.
The show has some interesting elements.
They have included a sangoma among the contestants, which is absolutely brilliant.
The prize money — US$50 000 — is more than decent.
It means the contestants are not just competing for glory — they are also competing for a potential change in fortune.
The show could have done with some more sponsors.
Also, what “Brother in House” needs is a bit of polish.
A little less cave-shrieking, a little more professional voice over.
A little less Hotel Liz, a little more Arlington or Shawasha Hills vibes.
A little less Oscar Pambuka looking like he is about to conduct a funeral, and a little more celebrity finesse.
But in all honesty, Mai Juju is rooting for them.
This is Zimbabwe’s first real attempt at this scale of reality television, and for that, they deserve a round of applause.
With 35 personalities, three months of drama and a sangoma to predict it all, we will be watching.
Until next time, we will keep our spirits high and our expectations low — that way, we will never be disappointed.
Ndikoko.
