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ALL play and no work makes Jack a mere toy but all work and no play makes him a dull boy. So for the next few weeks, we will shelve our textbooks and the academic stuff. But we will not stop learning. Instead we will concentrate on other ways of stretching the mind and enriching our lives through general knowledge and life skills.
It looks like you can no longer open the paper without reading about a child being raped somewhere.
Along with the children of Zimbabwe and concerned adults, Cool Lifestyle has repeatedly called for stiffer punishment for the offenders.
Unfortunately, the lawmakers have not heard our voices and abusers continue to destroy the lives of children including teens. But enough of the self-pity party! While we will continue to lobby for changes in the law, we will not cry about what we cannot change but look at what is in our power to help ourselves.
In this first edition of life skills, let us discuss how you as a teen can protect yourself from becoming a victim of sexual abuse.
1. Anyone is a potential abuser: All those stories of teens being raped by parents, pastors, siblings, friends, neighbours, teachers and other people they trust happen to normal teens victimised by people they know and possibly trust and love. I am not suggesting that you start hating all adults, but be cautious about what they ask you to do.
2. Learn to recognise potential risk zones: Avoid being alone with someone especially if it appears that they are setting out to create such a situation.
Although there are cases of rape happening in front of witnesses, in most cases children are sexually abused in secluded places like bedrooms and offices. A teacher ordering you to remain alone after class, a prophet saying that he needs a private prayer session with you alone or a relative asking you to enter their bedroom are all examples of potentially risky situations.
3. Trust your instincts : If a teacher, uncle, brother, aunt or anyone else makes you feel uncomfortable then most probably there is a good reason for your discomfort. Somehow you will have picked up that they may be sexually attracted to you.
4. Let history be your teacher: If someone has a bad reputation they may deserve it. Listen to what other people say about any person. Although malicious gossip can spread false rumours, treat alleged child molesters with caution until you can prove that they are innocent.
5. Do not alter your mind: Yes, most teens want to be with the programme and believe that drinking and drugs are hyper-cool. Just remember that these are called mind-altering substances for a good reason. If you decide to drink and drug up, you may wake up to find a video of you being sexually abused gone viral on YouTube.
6. Do not fall for spiking: When you go to a party or even visiting with someone, always insist on opening your own drink and always check to make sure that the seal has not been tampered with. If the drink tastes strange in any way, dump it. Avoid cocktails and punch unless you witness their preparation and keep the container in sight throughout the party. Do not let your drink out of sight, even for a moment because that is all that it takes. If you leave your drink like when going to the bathroom, get a fresh one or chill out.
7. Watch what you share: There are a lot of sexual jokes, pictures and videos circulating through social networking forums like WhatsApp. Be careful of people who try to share such pornographic with you. It may be a sign that they are interested in a sexual relationship. Abusers tend to believe that if you share such things with them it means you want to copy what you see with them.
8. Accidents that are not accidents: Your body that should not be touched by anyone without your permission. A person who keeps on “accidentally” touching you especially in areas like the genitals is dangerous.
The person could also try to get you to touch them in those areas or repeatedly brush against you. Immediately move away and avoid being alone with such a person.
9. Your word as the law: Learn to say “no” assertively. Most teens, especially girls, lack the skill to say no with a serious face. Do not laugh, smile, giggle or look down when you say no.
10. Last gap measure: If all the above has not helped and you only realise the danger when you are already in the process of being molested try and save yourself by screaming suddenly and loudly.
This may disturb your attacker briefly. Use that opportunity to run away. Do not attempt to physically fight back unless you are sure that help is very close by and will reach you instantly as you may endanger your life.
Online Reporter