THE 2015 June English Language examinations are over, done and dusted with Paper 2 yesterday. My own private candidates came out smiling and assured me in my own words “We have done our best. God will do the rest.” It was all Halleluiah, Halleluiah-Amen Amen. We now anxiously await the results. I remain stuck to my belief that every successful candidate must know in the English Language examination that he or she has failed. The marker can only confirm this truth.

If you have intelligently applied the skills of approach at every stage of the examination, why would you want to cast lots to know if you did it or missed the bus? Even a typical fool knows when the bus has gone that he or she is not on it, and must mean that he/she has missed it.
If you doubt one second that you have passed chances are you have flopped.

First class achievers do not even wait for the examination or results to know they have passed. They know even as they go into the exam-room, they will pass. What they often not know are the grades, for they are only candidates, not examiners or markers.

I was recently inundated with requests from candidates who wanted me to ‘teach’ them various aspects of the examination on the phone or on whatsapp. Well, I’m now used to these frantic calls, often an accurate sign nervousness. All unprepared candidates have a good reason to panic.

But more than the nerves, such requests are always associated with little or no idea of how language skills are mastered.
Which brings me to my question! What is the best practice in English Language Learning? Every linguist or language scientist knows there are volumes of books attempting to answer this difficult question. I have neither space nor time to dwell in a scholarly fashion on those millions of suggestions. What I have room for is sharing a generally accepted perception constituting a very basic or fundamental best practice.

Look, first there is no short cut to any of it. Simply forget it! You cannot master any language skills overnight, not least English language. You do not listen to BBC today and hope to wake up reporting like Tim Wilcox or Peter Dobie. Or Listen to Stephen Sucker and hope to wake up presenting HardTalk the way he does. It just does not happen. Or read Mindblast and wake up writing like Dambudzo Marechera, listen to Ali Mazrui and wake up speaking like the late Professor . . . hazviite! It cannot happen. Charles Mungoshi did not wake up unable to write a boring sentence. The same is with a lot other great speakers and writers.

Language mastery is achieved over many years of intimate contact with verbs and adjectives and figurative expressions. And this is best done by existing within an English speaking and Writing environment from a very early age. I am directly saying what happens with your language at Primary School will determine your later school years and your future with the written and spoken word.

Those you listen to and you want to dance when they speak, because of their command of the English language, did not learn it a few days from examination day. Or those whose written pieces you read and failed to even imagine what kind of English teacher they had back at school; they too did not master these skills in one day by listening to one extra-lessons tutor who like Dicken’s Mchoukumchild knew every noun, verb, adverb and adjective in the world. All English gurus read with skill and language interest many novels, and passed through at least one or two highly competent English teachers who guided them every step of the way before mastering perfect craftsmanship.

If you were born breathing, eating and drinking vernacular, and grew up to dream and talk vernacular everyday of your life such that whenever those who spoke it well said, ‘slip’ you thought they meant ‘sleep’ or if they said one of the three you were never sure if they had said ‘bird, bed or bad,’ eich, you need to go back picking up the pieces and it’s not painful. Only a long steady journey! Good teachers, I always say, are not good enough. I have not changed this perception.

Enough for one week. Part 2 awaits another week. Don’t miss it.