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Motivation for Success with Arthur Marara
“How would your life be different if . . . You stopped validating your victim mentality? Let today be the day . . . You shake off yourself defeating drama and embrace your innate ability to recover and achieve.”[Steve Maraboli].
Steve Maraboli aptly pointed what is haunting most of us today; victim mentality.
There are certain people who always think that they are victims; they can’t stand up for themselves. Great potential has perished in the hands of people who think they are inadequate to execute the passions in them. They are simply victims.
A victim mentality entails a belief that there is something or someone behind what happens in their lives. This mindset also involves the belief that the future is bleak, and holds bad things for one.
Believe it or not, there are people who think along these lines and their lives today are consistent with this thought. Some people think they are victims of their past, their marriages, relationships, or educational system.
A victim mentality can be a product of upbringing, you might have come from a broken family, or with an absentee parent, or you might have been nurtured to believe that you are a victim of circumstances.
Some people nurture the victim mentality on their own, and they even convince themselves that they cannot control anything in their lives.
The victim mentality attracts sympathy from people, it allows you to feel that you are just on the receiving end, and you cannot do anything in life. The truth however is that this mindset does not take you anywhere. It paralyses you! Great people eliminate the victim mentality in their lives, and they take charge of their lives.
Life is unfair
Life is and will never be fair, but you have to claim what belongs to you. Figure this out; someone is struggling to secure just a single room to live in, some people are busy acquiring vast pieces of land, and building mansions, some people are waiting in queue to get public transport, some people are impatiently waiting for the arrival of new cars they have acquired.
You can have an MBA Degree and work for people who do not even have a degree, you might be very academically gifted and struggle to get a job.
Those who work long hours should make more money, but that is not always the case. That is life! If you do not take time to move yourself from the bracket you are in, you will continue in it.
You can complain about how unfair life is, or you can take time to work on improving yourself. The pity song you always recite will not move you an inch to where you ought to be, but decisions will take you there.
Money is not just going to find itself into your pocket; you have to work for it. That job opportunity you always want is not going to come knocking on your door without you doing anything. Take action, take steps to promote yourself.
“You can either be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It all depends on how you view your life.” [Paulo Coelho]
Stop being a cry baby
“As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there” – as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering – the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise.” [Byron Katie].
A lot of people are cry-babies. They cry and complain about everything, about how unfair life is, about how weak they are.
Mumbling and rumbling has never changed anything in life. If you want your life to amount to something, you need to stop being a cry baby. You need to take a conscious decision to work on your life, and stop blaming other people for what is happening in your life. Some people even hold on to dead people as being the reason why they could not do much in life. You can retain the victim mentality, and you will surely be buried with it.
A beneficial exercise can be embarked upon, claiming what is yours in life.
History records of people who started off with nothing and ended up being billionaires, some people coming from broken families rising to become great parents, and partners.
Life is unfair if you concentrate on its unfairness. Life rewards those who know what they want, and are prepared to go for it. Let go of people, and start moving.
Self introspection matters
“Your complaints, your drama, your victim mentality, your whining, your blaming, and all of your excuses have NEVER gotten you even a single step closer to your goals or dreams. Let go of your nonsense. Let go of the delusion that you DESERVE better and go EARN it! Today is a new day!” [Steve Maraboli]. No single dollar is added to your pocket by murmuring, but you can do so by planning your life.
Take time to go through your life, and what has been happening in it. Identify the areas whose responsibility you have shoved to other people. Most of us we blame the failure of our marriages on other people, our family members, our workmates and so on.
Some people their financial predicament on other people, while others even blame their parents for not giving them a better financial standing.
Take stock of all these areas in life and harness the next key below;
Take charge of your life
If you cannot take charge of your life you cannot change it. Victims see other people as the cause for their misfortunes. Victors see themselves as the authors of their fortunes. You can take charge of your finances, your marriage, your family, your business, your social life. You can do all that, the moment you resolve to live your life, and face whatever that comes.
Steve Maraboli once made a profound remark; “Today is a new day. Don’t let your history interfere with your destiny! Let today be the day you stop being a victim of your circumstances and start taking action towards the life you want. You have the power and the time to shape your life. Break free from the poisonous victim mentality and embrace the truth of your greatness.
You were not meant for a mundane or mediocre life!” There is power within you to turn your situation around. You cannot see all this if you always see yourself as a victim.
Challenge yourself to greater heights
God can raise a dead person, but will never raise a person comfortably tucked in their bed. If you are not going to move your life, no one is going to do that J. G. Holland once said that, “God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.”
The same applies to us, opportunities are not just going to come from nowhere, go out there and network yourself.
Victims wait for things to happen, but victors make things happen. You need to challenge yourself to greater heights. Greatness is intentional, it is not an accident. You can decide to die the way you are, or you can decide to live differently and live your life better than you started it. You can defy your past, your present and make a meaningful future. There is greatness within you, you can unleash it. Get mad, get angry, and challenge your limitations.
Alter your belief system
You think you are a victim you will be one. Transform your thinking, and think better of yourself. Create a mental picture of a better you.
Design a vision board, which enables you to see what you want to be in life. By changing your attitude, and your belief system, you will change your positioning in life.
“The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be.” [William James]
Change your language
You are what you tell yourself. If you constantly tell yourself that you are a loser, do not be shocked when defeat comes your way. You think your life cannot amount to anything, you are very right. You think you are bad spouse; you are very right, you tell yourself you will never be financially free; you are very right.
Imagine if you can learn to confess positively in your life. You build confidence by the day, and whatever that you speak becomes a part of you. Practice affirmations daily. Speak against your situation, speak against the difficulties, speak against inferiority, e.g. I am a victor and never a victim, I am confident, I am a great wife/husband, I am a great person; I am on my way to achieving my purpose etc.
Write a new story
You can write your new story, a better and victorious you. Ignore the failures of your family members, and focus on the victories of the future. Start a new generation of confident, prosperous people.
Pass on a positive mindset to your children and all the people who look up to you. Do not pass on mediocrity to your children, pass on excellence to them. Build confidence in your children.
Join me on Star FM on Wednesdays (09:30am-10:00am) for some moments of inspiration on the Breeze with Tariro and Iyati.
◆ Arthur Marara is an Attorney, Author and Speaker. He is also the author of the Personal Development Toolkit. Send your feedback to [email protected] or Whatsapp +263 772 467 255.
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