Online Reporter
Pastor Sikhumbuzo Dube, [email protected]
The young man was now at the age of getting married. It was evident that no one could become his wife in the surrounding neighbourhood. His expectations were not in harmony with the prevailing situation. To add insult to injury, the skewed cultural elements were so rotten that they blocked his nostrils from being lulled by the sweet-smelling deodorants of local young women. Instead of flooding their tents with an arousing smell and feminine feel, his brain could only smell a stink.
As all good hunters do, the ladies never gave up. They deliberately passed by their tents in head-turning signature walks. Like preying lionesses, they planted their feet majestically, with each stride calculated to seduce the innocent young man. With each footstep, their expensive sandals clapped in a rhythmic style as their bodies twisted lavishly along. Their hair daintily flowed down their robes with such elegance that it could not be ignored.
The blue eyes pierced the young man’s inner soul with a “come to me, I’m available” look. They seductively caressed it, leaving it melting and almost giving in. With each blink, the sapphires sent the young man to a trance. The beautiful vision balls were so correctly positioned that being charmed into a love relationship was inevitable. Emotions stronger than principles would soon unsettle the young man.
The grey-haired patriarch noticed the unusual activities of the young ladies. A huge cloud of suspicion lodged on his forehead, leaving it furrowed by sorrow. He was worried that his son would fall prey to the insidiously crafted devices of the Canaanitish women.
The patriarch needed to prepare his son to be an authentic man who could not be swayed by destructive doghood— a philosophy that says, “All men are dogs”.
He had learnt his lessons well when no child was born. His wife had asked him to sleep with Hagar to perpetuate the family name. In his lust and insatiable desire for fatherhood, he sought a child in all the wrong places. The aftereffects of such an action were a thorn in his flesh.
Probably realising that his son may get entangled like him, he worked on a plan to save Isaac. He called his servant Eliezer and asked him to make an oath. “Put your hand under my thigh,” he commanded. “I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of Heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.” (Genesis 24 verses 2-4) In this narrative, there is a 5G preparation for authentic manhood and a happy marriage:
God
The faithful servant asked Abraham, “What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from?”
“Make sure that you do not take my son back there,” Abraham retorted. “The Lord, the God of Heaven, who brought me out of my father’s household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’— he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” (Genesis 24, verses 5-9)
A good preparation for manhood begins with God. Abraham clearly wanted a wife who would value the God of fulfilled promises. No good marriage would ensue without acknowledging the God of Heaven.
In the creation narrative, God created a woman and brought her to a man. Marriage and manhood will be authentic if the ‘God’ factor is in place.
Growth
While Eliezer prayed for God to lead in finding a woman, he did not look for beauty that stifles growth. He looked for a beautiful woman who would facilitate growth in his master’s son. As he stood beside the well, his prayer was, “May it be that when I say to a young woman, “Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,” and she says, “Drink, and I’ll water your camels too”— let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this, I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.” (Genesis 24, verse 14)
A young lady named Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. Notice that when she had given the servant some water to drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have had enough to drink.” (Genesis 24 verse 19). This meant that the lady had a growth mindset. Such a dear young lady needs to be showered with gifts.
Gift
I imagine as the sun drew close to its setting, painting the west in shades of amber, the huge water consumers quenched their thirst, gulping down gallon after gallon, leaving the drinking trough dry. The servant looked at his camels in amazement with his eyes glinting with awe. He took out a gold nose ring, gleaming like the last light of day and two radiant bracelets, their combined weight 10 shekels.
Every wise young man should learn the art of giving a gift. This young lady was truly a gift that was meant to be gifted. An appreciation for her worth was important. In my language, some call this ukudliwa, yet in its truest sense, where real love is, there are gifts.
Grit
It must have taken a lot of courage for Isaac to accept the gift his father’s servant had brought. His connection to God made it easy to know that a woman had been prepared for him.
Gold
The reason why Eliezer took out the ornaments of gold was that he had found gold for his master’s son. In searching for a life partner, look for gold. Don’t settle for less. Isaac was comforted when he married Rebekah. The loss of his mother had left him an emotional wreck. The advent of Rebekah became cathartic.
It is sad that when some of us find the gold, we turn it into silver or even some base metal. In light of this, someone commented, “Don’t underestimate the wisdom of your wife; look at the man he chose.”
λ Full article on www.chronicle.co.zw
As a young man, you may be struggling to find a suitable wife due to conflicting expectations and deviant cultural norms. You may be concerned about issues like superficiality and the influence of pervasive cultures. You need GOD to send His Holy Spirit to find a suitable wife who facilitates GROWTH. Like Eliezer, you can pray for guidance and discover Rebekah, a GIFT that shows kindness by offering to water your camels. Just as Eliezer recognised her value and expressed gratitude through thoughtful gifts, you can GIFT her. While it takes a lot of GRIT as a man to show appreciation in relationships, wisdom says: Your wife or prospective wife is GOLD. Value her as such.
*Pastor Sikhumbuzo Dube is a chaplain, counsellor, marriage coach and founder of Shunem Care, a ministry to the involuntarily childless and emotionally wounded. He has published several articles on spiritual care, mental health, chaplaincy, and involuntary childlessness.
Ends. Cleared YM.
