dyton mupawaenda
Sharuko on Saturday
WHAT if the football gods we have heard, read and written so much about for as long as we can remember, really existed?
What if these mythical figures really ruled our game and, when we die, we have to face them so that they can decide whether we go to the paradise of the game’s Garden of Eden or we forever rot in hell?
Imagine getting there and being taken by the angels to the game’s Garden of Eden, where all the good guys live forever in bliss.
And, we will see familiar faces like Mudhara George Shaya, young George Chigova, united by their first names, their former club and their proud identity as Warriors.
In the distance we will see Benjamin Nkonjera, still with those boyish looks, and Joe Mugabe, still the good old Kode from Mabvuku who used to charm our spirits with both his skills and personality.
And, in the background, we will see Watson Muhoni, still the indomitable lion he was here, Rahman Gumbo adjusting to life in paradise and Reinhard Fabisch, still demanding excellence as if he is still coaching by some advanced form of video conference.
Across the garden we will see Alec Fidesi, the boy we lost when the National Sports Stadium transformed itself into a cage of mass death.
That was on July 11 2000 when we lost 13 of our comrades in that stampede and Fidesi, at only 6, was the youngest of the victims.
Somehow, the number of fans we lost that day had to be the same as the number Adam Ndlovu used to wear on his jersey during national service.
Adamski, too, would be consumed by tragedy, a dozen years later, when he died in that car crash in Victoria Falls 0n his way to doing the one thing he loved the most — play football for the Bosso legends.
Then, we are taken on a tour of hell, where the very bad guys now live.
And, there, we will find the thug who, after being sent while playing for Division One side Arcturus Mine, in the late ‘80s, he picked up a stone and smashed it against referee Showman Tsuro’s head.
Tsuro died from the injuries he suffered in that savage attack.
In the background, we will see a seat reserved for Gerardo Bedoya, when he leaves the garden of the living and gets there.
He is widely acknowledged as the most dangerous footballer of all-time, having accumulated 46 red cards in a career whose high point was winning the Copa America with Colombia.
We will also see a seat reserved for Vinnie Jones, when he finally comes there, the tough guy member of the Wimbledon Crazy Gang who broke many opponents’ bones.
In December 2003, he was convicted of assault and threatening behaviour on an aircraft for an incident in which he slapped a fellow passenger and threatened to kill the cabin crew.
He was very drunk when he burst into his fit of rage. I have been wondering about the things that these good guys will probably ask us, when we finally meet them, in their Garden of Eden.
I’m sure one of the questions will be about how the hell did we end up with someone like Felton Kamambo, with his clear glaring shortcomings, end up being elected as ZIFA president?
Someone who didn’t know that there were no continents in Zimbabwe and could not pronounce something as simple as thirty-two million, fifty thousand dollars.
A CONSTITUENCY NORMALISING
THE ABNORMAL
They will probably ask us how we have seemingly normalised the abnormality that the Warriors can host a home World Cup match in Rwanda and Dynamos can be allowed to commit the aberration that comes with using Barbourfields as their home ground?
They will probably ask us how we ended up normalising the abnormality that a club based in Shamva is forced to play their home matches in Mhondoro and Harare with none of their 17 home games being staged in their little town?
Why aren’t we seeing, and protesting, that this flawed system of running a league doesn’t only compromise the integrity of the championship race but turns into some form of a Mickey Mouse race?
Why are we allowing this Wild West nonsense to continue, with clubs playing home games away from home and, in the process, endorsing this crusade to tarnish the very image of the one championship race which should be a beacon of purity in our football?
Why are we not seeing that all this is a sustained attack on a championship race which has built its reputation, as the ultimate barometer of the test of champions, over SIX decades?
If Bulawayo Rovers, the first winners of the championship race in 1962, did so playing in a system which attached a lot of value in the system of matches being played home and away, why is it that, 61 years later, we believe there is some romance in altering the system?
These guys have a right to be asking these tough questions because they worked hard to build a system, which preserved the values of fairness, and turned a blind eye to the madness we are leaving to bring down the remaining pillars on which the virtues of Fair Play, and a level playing field, are built on.
WE ARE MESSING IT UP, BIG TIME
They will tell us there is an element of madness in foolishness that comes with seeing no evil, hearing no evil and speaking no evil about this arrangement from hell which we have normalised in the past few years.
They will ask us how we can really say Dynamos won the league championship in 2014 when their closest rivals for the crown, ZPC Kariba, finished just one point behind the Glamour Boys despite playing ALL their 15 home matches away from Kariba?
To make it worse, all those matches were played in Harare, the very city that DeMbare call home, the city that the Glamour Boys say is their fortress.
Somehow, those who run these fixtures made sure that their first two league games had to be against the capital’s BIG two – home to CAPS United and away to Dynamos — with both matches in Harare.
They held the Green Machine to a 1-1 draw and beat Dynamos 1-0.
Their last two league matches, again, had to be against the two giants, again in Harare, with ZPC Kariba beating Dynamos 2-1 before losing 2-3 to the Green Machine.
Their stunning 2-1 win over DeMbare gave them a two-point lead at the top of the table, ahead of the final game, which was a home tie against CAPS United.
They lost 2-3 in Harare, home far away from home, and with Dynamos beating How Mine 2-0 in the capital that afternoon, the Glamour Boys took the title by a point. Nine years later, this year, we had the scenario of Manica Diamonds playing all their 34 matches away from home and, somehow, finishing in second place in the championship race.
These guys will probably ask us if the Gem Boys, just like ZPC Kariba in 2014, are not the REAL champions in these two races?
Champions Ngezi even had tenants, who used their home ground, which meant an away match against Simba Bhora was still played at Baobab.
Then, some of their away fixtures had to be played on neutral venues like Mandava and Bata because the likes of Herentals and CAPS United had to play their home matches on the road.
These guys will ask if we really believe that Ngezi would have beaten CAPS in Harare the way they beat them at the Bata Stadium? They will remind us that we have been allowing this nonsense since 1998 when we let Mhangura lose the BP League Cup final on away goals when the two legs of their showdown against CAPS United were both played in Harare.
So, in a bizarre arrangement, Mhangura scored two goals over those two legs, the same as CAPS who were in their home setting in both matches, but the copper miners were told they had lost the final on the away goals rule.
They will probably tell us that you can occasionally allow this nonsense in cup tournaments but the league is the ultimate prize and we shouldn’t make a habit of tarnishing its reputation.
To God Be The Glory!
Peace to the GEPA Chief, the Big Fish, George Norton, Daily Service, Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse and all the Chakariboys still in the struggle.
Come on Pirates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zaireeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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