All rich pickings must be taxed

rom the hullabaloo of urban life, screeching vehicle tyres, nightspot lights, criss-crossing pedestrians who never greet anyone they don’t know, the village was quite refreshing.
Away from a cocktail of scantily dressed and decently dressed women, red-eyed street drunks shouting obscenities and swearing about our mothers as if they were not born of women themselves, the village was cool and soothing.
Things were fine with plenty of pumpkins, roasted maize, roasted groundnuts, you name it, this time around.
One dark night, we sat around a fire, red and purple embers glowing intermittently, popping sparks that split and exploded mid air, forcing us to subconsciously duck once in a while. The resultant smoke, arrogantly forced us to wink our eyes and frown nonchalantly but nevertheless the discourse continued.
It floundered deeper into complex family matters but eventually zeroed in on the national economy.
The discourse, being no-holds-barred, then went into national revenue collection and the newly crowned director of the year, Gershem Pasi, of the revenue collection fame would certainly have better advisors about where to collect revenue.
Pentecostal churches, is where the money is at the moment.
Defining religion and religiosity, the art and the belief, churchianity and Christianity, the villager’s elders were able to tell that there is now a thriving money-spinning industry using Christianity as a smokescreen.
They called it “churchianity” and defined it as going to church to show off belongings, to announce riches, to make friends and to drop dollars in the presence of others.
It is common cause that churches are fast becoming the richest institutions in the country and that while mooting the idea of taxing them might be regarded by many as utter madness, this villager thinks we could get a few dollars there.
At least some kind of churches let me add.
And if you see the figures and structures of opulence such as the Celebration Centre in the leafy, suburb of Borrowdale, where apart from the church itself there are such facilities as conference centres, you may know what I am talking about.
This is where the rich and famous meet and pray, in the real sense and of course ostensibly.
Contrast that of course with the famished and the poor Lazuruses who conceivably worship the same God who repose under trees or suchlike places of humility in the village.
There is also the middle the ground where many “average” people frequent.
In all the three strata, money and people are flowing.
In fact, there are segments each prayer day which are entirely dedicated to money-matters; that is outside of the “love offering” and tithes and so on.
There are various things that call for money: the building of the church, prayer vacations, pastor’s suits, pastor’s rentals, pastor’s groceries, pastor’s car etc.
Then one has to “invest in the Lord” at least 10 percent of their earnings per month.
Blessed is the hand that giveth than the one that taketh!
The result of the various and varied transactions in Caesar’s terms has arguably been seen not much in the advancement of faith (or can we measure it?) but in the worldly advancement of the personages and buildings of churches.
In fact, the rich have become richer while the poor have been much pauperised.
Gentle reader I am not going to talk about the correctness or morality of giving in church and where the money really goes.
I was told to judge not.
On the contrary, I wish to highlight just these money-spinning ventures could be used for the advancement of the country.
For a country with an economy bleeding under evil sanctions, this villager has not heard of any denomination contributing to the national fiscus to exorcise the ghost of illegal sanctions.
Being the villager that I am, it might be a wild dream but yes, churches have said a lot about national governance in the positive and negative, but have not put their money where their mouths are.
This villager would have expected the holy men and women to contribute to the national fiscus. For instance, a church that itself raises US$1 billion per year can certainly donate a quarter of it to the national fiscus for erstwhile economic recovery.
The ageless village soothsayer known for his unending wisdom, commented something like, “Well they say they are investing in God but the almighty Father has no bank account. If he had one it would have been a multi, multi-currency one.”
The soothsayer is worried that most of the money that has been given to the churches as tithe has only been used for pushing human needs that certainly have nothing Godly about them.
Why do we still have hungry women and children in the locations when churches adjacent to them have not done anything good for them.
This villager questions the morality of going past a hungry person next door and proceeding to pay your money in the church, then return home to face your hungry neighbour?
This villager was recently not amused when he tried to join a congregation in the small town of Kariba, only to be introduced to the pastor and told to bring groceries the next time for the pastor.
“Yes, the pastor will remember you next time. The grocery will make him remember you”, retorted the villager’s sister.
This villager never set foot there?
If you tax a villager for buying a loaf of bread why not tax a church for earning millions?
In the village, the council levies cattle, ox-drawn carts, tuckshops, wheelbarrows, the land and of late boreholes, so what about the churches?
This villager is awaiting the day this country will be able to distinguish between Christianity and churchianity, religion and religiosity, the art and the belief.
The soothsayer, says one day, just one day . . .
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