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Nhlalwenhle Ncube
WORDS can be deceiving, trust actions. That’s where the truth is! So many hearts have been left broken after they were misled with sweet words.
Though the actions said otherwise, they were blinded by love and just got carried away with what they were being told. Words must be backed up with actions. The problem with some people is that they want to separate the two and only accept reality when it’s already late.
Someone’s actions might reflect that they do not truly care. But unfortunately the other party will always make excuses for their actions and stay in the unhealthy relationship. In their minds, they want the person to love, care and value them, but in reality they fail to do so.
This is where the confusion comes from. On the one hand, one creates a lot of meaning in their heads that isn’t really there. Be realistic, no matter what you have been told, always know that actions speak louder than words and that your interpretations may be accurate.
It usually takes many people a long time to understand the saying, actions speak louder than words. You can find yourself in a relationship with someone who always says one thing, but does something totally opposite. When you get angry and want to end things with such a person, he would become apologetic and play with words promising you stars and the moon. Sadly when you fall for his sweet lies hoping that he will change and give you the love you deserve, it never happens.
You get hurt not once, but it always happens and even when you have a clue that the relationship is not a healthy one for you, he wins your heart after playing around with a few words.
Having such a partner, he will put you through unthinkable emotional pain and continue doing things that are good for him, not even feeling remorse for you and what you go through.
There will be emotional and verbal abuse. These are the same partners who claim to love you, but their actions say a different story as they cheat on you, belittle you in front of friends and family. They will promise to love you till death, but their actions make it clear that they lie every day just to get what they want and keep you around.
Just because you are blinded by love, you are hurting and suffering but still living in your own world of fantasy thinking that he will change and start loving you just like he did at the beginning of your relationship.
Love is all about small things because they matter the most. If he can not fight for you and show that as small proof that he still cares, then know his sweet words are good for nothing. If he has hurt you many times and uses words to justify his actions know that he is playing mind games. Actions can only be justified with actions.
Sweet words that he will change mean nothing without proof of being backed up with what he does thereafter. If you let him continue, he will leave you emotionally dead with no energy for any relationship and totally numb.
When things are not working in a relationship and actions are against words, know when to walk away. Recognise when enough is enough.
Do their actions frequently contradict their words? Anyone can contradict themselves once or twice. We are only human and sometimes we make mistakes. It’s consistent behaviour that conveys how someone really feels.
Do you frequently make excuses for them, to yourself or others?
If you often find yourself in a position where you need to defend the other person, odds are there’s a consistently unacceptable behaviour you are trying to justify.
It’s great to be compassionate, but you need to be compassionate with yourself first — and that means acknowledging what’s just not okay.
Does this person turn things around on you, as if their actions are your fault?
It can be difficult to recognise those consistently unacceptable actions if you convince yourself you are somehow responsible for them. You might tell yourself that they regularly ignore your needs because you are too needy. Or they belittle you because you have made mistakes in the past. In other words, you might justify their mistreatment because they try to make you feel like you are the “wrong one” or the “crazy one.”
When someone truly cares, they don’t use your mistakes or imperfections to justify neglect or emotional blackmail.
In life, never divorce words from actions or vice versa. Avoid heartaches and be realistic, stop justifying certain actions because it’s misleading.
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Online Reporter