Be your own person Every person is unique.

unique value that distinguishes her or him from the next person.
This was done by the Maker for complementarities. A sister told me something on some practice of maybe some hospitals in the USA. According to her experience, she was made to state her name and date of birth every time she was given medication, have a test run or given her meal.
Hospital staff providing the service would always do this no matter how frequent they interacted. The service would then be provided after the provider is satisfied that there is a match between the person and prescribed procedure.
I believe this is a control mechanism to reduce the margin of error when it comes to prescriptions, diagnosis and dosage.
This story buttressed my thoughts on the issue of defining self that I was contemplating on writing for this week. The issue of defining self is central to being your own person.
A person who knows who he or she is does try each and everything that comes along. Such a person can set personal goals, standards and principles that guide his or her life and is poised for success as he or she is most likely to fulfill a given purpose. Knowledge of oneself is a basis for transformation and personal development because it opens the mind to new avenues and horizons.
A person who defines self is less likely to go with the wind and therefore can overcome pressure from the surrounding environment.
So many times we let our world such as friends, family, television, workplaces, churches and all these other things define us.
We catch whatever appears to be ‘the thing’ of the season and run with it. Is it not the reason why we want to be in sync with contemporary language, fashion, designs, religious language and all these other things that come to your mind?
There is really nothing wrong to move with the season but what is important is to know whether you are being true to self.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs says that human beings have the desire to belong.
As a result some of the things that we do are meant to satisfy this deep set desire. Is it not the reason why people justify wrongs out of the conviction that everyone is doing it?
We really do not spend time to get to know self. We are too busy with everything else that in the end suffocates the person inside.
Sometimes we are afraid to show who we are because what the world sees and believes about us is different from who we really are.
Consequently we play strong yet we are so afraid. We keep up appearances even if it means borrowing or using unorthodox means to sustain a perception.
There is need to distinguish what people say you are and who you really are. What people say can never really define you. What people see and think can only come in as affirmation to encourage or to cause introspection and change for the better. Remember the man who lived two thousand years ago, Jesus Christ asked his disciples who people say he was. The answers ranged from Elijah, John the Baptist etc but his affirmation came from Peter who confessed that he was the Messiah, the son of God.
The other day my Pastor remarked on things that we need to safeguard against such as playing church, use of religious jargon and so forth.
I guess it is usually putting up an act to impress those around us.
Playing church is like playing house (mahumbwe) which we used to do when we were young. It was about imitating the real thing with a make do father, mother, children, tools, utensils and others.
The food that is cooked is not real food so those playing house pretend to eat it. What I am trying to say is that it remains what it is, an imitation, made out of sand and therefore cannot nourish the body. So it is with our life, pretense remains what it is. It remains a simulation that does not really add value to life. Sometimes it can be very deceiving as the attention that the world gives rubs ego the right way. People are, however, known to have committed suicide in an attempt to escape from the lie.
Pretense does not get us anywhere.
In fact it adds to stress as we become preoccupied with keeping up appearances.
I know people who have for years taken in a lot of abuse in marriages at the hands of their spouse and pretended that all is well.
Some women justify bruises as scratches from firewood, falling or knocking against the wall. To the world everything is well but the woman or the man in that relationship is not honest with self.
People such as this seek help when it is too late or they never get to do so.
They are overwhelmed that they end their lives or loose valuable time to depression. Some years ago an artist named Charlene produced a song entitled “I’ve never been to me.”
From the lyrics the artist tells a story of having done some very daring things, having seen the unthinkable and been to all these good places but has never be to self.
I do not know much about the artist and even the background to the song but to me the artist seems to have this regret of knowing all these other things without knowing the person behind all these adventures.
One can sense the emptiness and futility similar to that expressed by the biblical Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes.
Solomon was a king who had it all, wisdom, fame and riches but when he took stock of his life all was meaningless.
He came to the realisation that everything apart from a relationship with God is meaningless. Doing everything else and ignoring the person that you are is like hiding behind a finger, one day it will catch up with you.
There is need therefore to take time with you and define yourself not wait for the world to define you. Be your own person so you can enjoy the fullness of life.
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