Bedroom Blues! Gokwe wife drags hubby to chief over ‘sex drought’

Ethel Ncube

A WOMAN from Gokwe under Chief Chireya has stunned villagers after dragging her husband to the traditional court complaining of a serious “sex drought” in her marriage.

According to the frustrated Irene Chipatu, the problem is simple but painful.

Her husband’s “trouser snake has retired from duty.”

She told the chief’s court that despite the couple having seven children, the bedroom has gone colder than a winter night in the bush because her husband, Tasara Nyengera allegedly developed erectile problems.

“Chief, the snake just lies there like a dead log. It never rises for any occasion,” the woman told the traditional court on Sunday, leaving villagers struggling to keep straight faces.

She explained that throughout their marriage the only time her husband managed to perform was after visiting a traditional healer who would prepare special herbs to “wake up the tiger.”

Those brief herbal miracles, Chipatu said, are the reason the couple managed to produce their seven children.

“Without the medicine nothing happens,” she said.

But the situation has now worsened. According to Chipatu, the husband is no longer able to perform at all, and the drought in the bedroom has stretched for almost a year.

Feeling neglected and starved of affection, she finally decided enough was enough and marched to the chief’s court seeking help.

Chipatu also complained that whenever attempts are made to help the husband, he allegedly destroys traditional medicines and prayer items meant to improve his condition.

This behaviour, she told the court, has left her frustrated and scared that her marriage is slowly collapsing.

Villagers listened with a mix of sympathy and suppressed laughter as the delicate bedroom matter was laid bare before the traditional leadership.

The case has now been referred to Chief Chireya, who is expected to guide the couple toward a solution.
The pair has been ordered to return to the court in two weeks.

Traditional leaders at the gathering urged couples facing bedroom troubles to communicate openly and seek medical or traditional assistance before small issues turn into full-blown marital wars.

For now, villagers are waiting to see whether the sleeping snake in Gokwe will wake up before the next court session.