Andrew
WE were merrymaking and dancing to fast-paced sungura beats at a Christmas party when a sloshed junior staffer walked to the braai stand, reached for a sizzling hot piece of beef and shoved it into the mouth of his immediate supervisor.
Before people could react, he had escalated his attack, pumping three fists into the defenceless boss’ belly.
“Makajaidzwa mudhara. Today, I want to show you who the boss is. By the time I finish dealing with you, everyone would have learnt his lesson,” the junior staffer said with a voice filled with emotion.
The attack seemed to have been pre-planned, as it was later discovered that teams of other workers had also mercilessly attacked their leaders at the ill-fated party.
No wonder, to this day, very few bosses feel at ease attending parties with their subordinates. They would rather excuse themselves or find a reason not to attend.
Gentle reader, being a boss has many disadvantages than benefits, if truth be told.
It comes with many challenges that include situations where one feels his or her resilience is being tested in the most difficult way.
Having a position of authority — called “boss”, “shefu”, “mukuru”, “ishe”, “mambo”, “dhara”, “vadharikeni” and “biggaz”, among a host of other names — is no stroll in the park.
Besides being given names derived from one’s height, body shape, complexion, facial outlook and gait, men and women in positions of authority go through hell at the companies they own, run or work.Day in, day out, bosses are lied to and made to believe non-existent things that can never happen anywhere under the sun.
“I need a loan to take my mother to hospital.
“She is in so much pain that I cannot stand seeing her in that condition,” some workers will plead, only to see them dancing to rhumba at dingy bottle stores in downtown Harare later that day.
“Boss, my son has been sent away from school because of fees arrears. I need cash to ensure we fix this challenge because the headmaster has threatened to expel him early next year. This is the situation I am finding myself in.
Please, intervene,” the guys will tell you, only to learn that the said worker has never married and has no child to talk about.
Worse are those bosses who are too trusting and never take a stroll even to the nearest supermarket.
These men and women are made to consume goods at double the price by the people they send. They even form swindling committees, where they agree on a set of prices to wring as much cash as possible out of you.
“He is a boss and earns a lot of money. We must use our brains to get a share of that money. Never give him a receipt each time he sends you,” you hear some people plotting over lunch.
Some naughty workers, yours truly is informed, have pictures of themselves standing next to flat tyres, and all they do is select the best one to send to the boss each time they feel like reporting late for work.
As I commit pen to paper, gentle reader, some bosses rue their decision to tell some people about their roles at their workplace. Each time they visit a bottle store for a drink, they are sure to leave the facilities with more than a fair share of CVs of people looking for jobs.
People who drink beer with individuals in positions of authority sometimes behave like weevils. They barely want to pay for anything.
The situation is now even getting dangerous because, even at home, siblings of bosses never want to contribute anything towards funeral expenses.
All they do is advise family elders to get hold of the boss.
“Manje kana nyaya yadaro, vatete batai mukomana. Batai mukomana zvinhu zvese zviende pakanaka. Mwari akada mhuri yedu akatipa murume anofambisa zvinhu,” I heard a workmate saying recently.
Let us spare a thought for bosses.
Inotambika mughetto.
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