What does it cost to be courteous?

approach a service point and chided for wanting a service that I am entitled or have paid for. At times you are greeted with a sullen face and given a curt answer and you wonder what has happened to courtesy. I have seen people being abused in queues. I know sometimes people are nuisance but the treatment they get is at times not called for.
The person charged with manning the queue can really pick on someone and even swear that they will never get the service sort as long as they are in control.
Have you ever wondered at what transpires in the minds of drivers when it rains or when the traffic lights are not working? The other day I was thinking as I watched the traffic jam at an intersection when there was downpour. The traffic lights where working but people were jostling to enter the intersection until no one could move.
I wondered whether the rains get to flood not only the roads but the minds of drivers as well.
Have you stopped to think about the general behaviour of drivers on the road? If you use your discretion and stop to give way to another driver it is like you have committed a crime. Usually the driver behind you wiggles his/herself from behind in a manner that leaves you wondering whether you have just had a fight.
This really surprises me because you do not even know the person but he/she appears so angry with you.
Why all this anger? Have we become a nation of angry people? I have learnt that if a person has no peace in his/her heart he/she tends to destabilise those around.
Of course there other drivers who think they are cleverer that everybody else and therefore do all sorts of gymnastics to beat all other drivers. Apart from commuter omnibuses the taxis take the trophy.
There is so much impatience and spirit of competition. A friend told me a story about how she stopped at a pedestrian crossing to let school children cross.
The driver who was behind was so impatient and angrily swerved to pass her without exercising due caution. Fortunately by providence missed the children by a whisker. It is a mad world and a traffic jungle out there. Will sanity ever prevail on our roads?
What does it take to bring back reason on our roads and all these service points? I know at times I wish the police could be deployed in numbers to man the roads. Really, does it take a policeman or deterrent fines for sanity to prevail?
I do not think so. Yes that could help but that is not the solution. Sometimes I ask myself what kind of driver training is required to tame the traffic jungle.
In my view it all goes back to the individual.
There are people who are confrontational. They have no peace in themselves hence when they speak, as the Bible says, they do so from the depth of their hearts.
Also their attitudes define their behaviour. I recall a long time ago as a lass rushing for a doctor’s appointment. When I alighted from the bus at Machipisa I asked a certain man who by my standards was a gentleman what time it was. He glanced at his watch and said quarter to. I politely asked again, quarter to what? The response that I got was uncalled for. Angrily he said to me “iwe unofunga kuti quarter to ani?” (in your opinion it is quarter to what?). I was surprised at such rudeness, I was not used to that so I walked away wishing I had never asked.
It has been said the fish rots from the head. In this case when we see things like this happen we need to go back to the cradle. From the individual therefore it goes back to the family, the home where people are bred and moulded. Is the home still doing its part of teaching the most important lessons of life such as respect, self control, consideration, obedience, compassion, sharing and many more?
How much is the world defining us? We live in a world where there seems to be so much to do and yet very little time. People are therefore always rushing. Our world is competitive and the spirit seems to have caught on in all aspects of life. We compete when we are supposed to co-operate and complement. Our world has so many pressures hence we move around carrying heavy loads that we have no clue of how to solve them. Today’s world preaches individualism. It is about “me, myself and I.”
What kind of training can cause total transformation of mindsets? Can defensive driving deal with the inner being and change perceptions? We know companies have spent money on customer care training programmes. Have these programmes brought the desired change?
What more still needs to be done? The traditional family of yesteryear used to teach life lessons in very special ways. Children learnt to respect, share and to be considerate through simple lessons in the home.
Children grouped by gender would eat from the same plate and always letting the eldest go first and also leave the youngest to finish off. Three or four children sleeping under the same blanket had its life lessons.
We really cannot go back there but what alternatives have we put in place to carry through these life lessons. Nowadays it is common to have individual plate, bed, bedroom, toy, television and car.
The question is, in this context how can we still train and shape a responsible, considerate and civil citizen of our motherland. Think of the many times that you failed to manage your anger and acted in ways that are regrettable.
Consider those times that you were rude to the other person and were possessed by the spirit of competition unnecessarily. How much would courtesy cost? Imagine the difference that you would bring to your world when you become more self controlled, polite, patient, considerate and compassionate.