Online Reporter
Married at First Sight SA has been screened for 11 weeks on Showmax, and each episode brings even more emotion and drama. The series follows four couples navigating married life in real time.
Sowetan caught up with Bongani Luvalo about his journey on the show, including the ups and downs with his partner, Portia, who initially confessed to not having been physically attracted to him.
Sowetan: Why did you decide to join the show?
Bongani: I joined it to try a different approach in finding a wife, to cut out options and choice and see if one can meet a person who’s committed to the institution of marriage. I was tired of the outside noise and was intentional in giving my all to building a marriage, family and a home.
Sowetan: When you first saw Portia, what went through your mind?
Bongani: I thought, “It doesn’t get more real than this”.
Sowetan: How did you emotionally prepare yourself for this experiment?
Bongani: I generally live in therapy, not because I have deep things to deal with, but because it’s a tool that I need in the journey of life. So once it was confirmed that I would be a participant, my therapist and I drew up scenarios and approached them. I won’t lie, it did take a toll on me even though I had taken measures. So, because of the time I have spent and continue to spend in therapy, I can say I have a toolbox that I refer to as and when I’m challenged, negatively or positively.
Sowetan: How did the passing of Portia’s dad affect your marriage?
Bongani: It was a bit of a challenge, as I could not be fully there for her for two reasons. The first being the fact that traditionally, I can’t be recognised as a husband but rather seen as a boyfriend, and second, I had to leave the country for almost two weeks.
Sowetan: How have you managed to stay calm throughout all the conflict that has happened on the show?
Bongani: I would say learning to know when something is about me or not has helped. At times, we tend to want to personalise or own people’s actions as if they are a reflection of ourselves or our own insufficiencies. I don’t take things personally and I also know when to take a few steps back and then approach things with less emotion.
Sowetan: From the episodes we have seen, is there a marriage that you truly believe in that isn’t yours?
Bongani: I would say Nelisa and Themba. I think they came with intention, knowing what they want out of the experience and they graciously approach each day by giving each other respect and the benefit of the doubt.
Sowetan: What has this experience taught you about yourself?
Bongani: This experiment has cemented that I love love and that I still have work to do in dealing with abandonment and rejection.
Sowetan: Why should people continue watching your journey?
Bongani: Because it’s a relatable story of how people grow into each other. There are still more ups and downs that will test the marriage, and it really can’t unfold without the viewers’ witnessing − Sowetan.
Mathew Masinge