Online Reporter
Pauline T Nenerai, [email protected]
Domestic violence has no postcode, no race, and no social class. In living rooms across the world, behind closed doors, families are being torn apart. Husbands are killing wives. Wives are killing husbands. Parents are harming children. What was once whispered about as a “private matter” is now a public crisis of health, human rights, and justice.
It starts small, then escalates
Domestic violence is not only physical. It is emotional, psychological, sexual, and economic abuse.
It often begins quietly. With control. With insults. With threats. With isolation from friends and family. With one partner deciding what the other can wear, spend, or say.
Many victims stay because of fear, financial dependence, children, cultural pressure, or the hope that their partner will change.
Leaving is not as simple as “just walk away.”
What fuels the violence
Experts point to several risk factors: poor anger management, alcohol and drug abuse, unresolved trauma, mental health struggles, jealousy, financial stress, infidelity, and beliefs that give one partner power over the other. But let’s be clear: nothing justifies abuse. Stress, poverty, or a bad day do not excuse violence. Every person is responsible for their own choices.
The cost to us all
The damage is serious. Victims suffer injuries, anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Some do not survive. Children who witness violence carry the scars into classrooms and into their own relationships. They struggle in school. They learn that love and pain are the same thing. Communities pay too. Through hospital bills, court cases, lost work days, and broken families.
How we fight back
Ending this crisis will take all of us. Parents, schools, churches, clinics, police, and Government must work together. We must teach young people about healthy relationships, respect, and how to manage conflict without violence.
We must create safe spaces where victims can ask for help without shame. And we must hold perpetrators accountable, while also offering counselling to change violent behaviour.
Faith communities have a key role. Love, in any scripture, is never about control or fear. Ephesians 4:31–32 calls us to put away bitterness and anger, and to be kind and compassionate. Colossians 3:19 tells husbands to love their wives and not be harsh. Our homes should reflect those values.
A call to action
Every headline about a family killed by someone they loved is a warning. It is a cry from across the world saying: enough. Safer homes are built on respect, equality, open communication, and early intervention.
A peaceful family is the foundation of a peaceful nation. Domestic violence thrives in silence. It ends when we speak up, when we support survivors, and when we choose to build relationships rooted in dignity. Let’s break the silence.
Together.
*Pauline T Nenerai is a registered counselling psychologist
