Online Reporter
Rutendo Gwatidzo-Changing Perspectives
As we conclude the month of May, can we talk about the invisible cycle destroying homes, workplaces, and society today?
“Hurt people hurt people, broken people break people.”
One of the greatest tragedies in society today is that many broken people are leading, parenting, mentoring, managing, teaching, and influencing others while carrying unhealed wounds themselves. Broken parents are raising children, broken leaders are leading organisations, broken teachers are shaping students, broken pastors are counselling congregations and, the list is long. And because brokenness is often ignored and it goes untreated, pain keeps reproducing itself.
The Frightening Reality!
What people fail to heal from, they often transfer to others consciously or unconsciously. Brokenness does not always look obvious. Some broken people are highly successful professionally. Some smile a lot publicly, some are respected leaders, some are financially stable and some appear spiritually mature. But internally they carry unresolved trauma, rejection, bitterness, insecurity, toxic coping mechanisms and probably emotional wounds from years ago. Unhealed pain eventually affects how people communicate, love, lead, discipline or relate to others. I realised this sad reality over years as I continued to work in my HR space with different people across different organisations and industries. A good number of leaders carry unresolved issues which they end up unleashing the wrong way in the wrong places.
Brokenness left unattended rarely remains private. Many adults today are carrying wounds that started in childhood homes. A father who grew up emotionally neglected may struggle to show affection to his own children.
A mother raised in constant criticism may unknowingly raise fearful, insecure children. A child raised around violence may normalise toxic relationships later in life. Some parents provide financially but remain emotionally unavailable. Others project frustration, trauma, and disappointment onto children without realising the long-term damage. The painful truth is that some people are parenting from survival mode instead of healing. Healing matters because children often inherit what adults refuse to confront.
Broken Leaders Create Broken Workplaces.
Organisations are also suffering because many workplaces are being led by emotionally unhealthy leaders. A manager who was humiliated by leadership may become abusive to subordinates. An insecure executive may suppress talented employees out of fear.
A leader struggling internally may create toxic pressure cultures because they themselves never experienced healthy leadership. As a result, workplaces become filled with fear, burnout, gossip, mistrust, favouritism, emotional exhaustion, and disengagement, probably. The employees then carry workplace frustration back home to families.
Consider a supervisor who constantly shouts at employees publicly, humiliates staff during meetings, and uses fear as a management tool. Initially, employees may comply out of fear. But over time morale declines, staff disengage emotionally, productivity suffers and absenteeism may increases. Eventually, employees may begin treating customers harshly. Why? Because broken leadership reproduces broken environments.
In many African organisations, toxic leadership styles are often normalised under phrases like,“That’s how tough leaders operate.” But, is intimidation good or sustainable leadership?
Brokenness is not only a private issue; society is experiencing the consequences publicly also from all angles. Communities are becoming emotionally disconnected. Generally, violence is increasing, relationships are weakening and empathy is decreasing. Online spaces are filled with anger and hostility. Many people are bleeding emotionally in public from wounds they never healed privately. And unfortunately, society often teaches people to suppress pain instead of process it. Often times people are told to be strong and move on. But buried pain rarely disappears. It often resurfaces through behaviour, relationships, leadership styles, and emotional reactions. Even some of the famous and successful leaders had to be intentional about healing. Nelson Mandela understood the danger of unresolved bitterness after years of imprisonment. Instead of reproducing hatred, he pursued reconciliation and healing for a divided nation.
Healing Is Possible!
The cycle of broken people raising broken people can be interrupted but, healing must become intentional. In Homes families must normalise actions like emotional conversations, apology and affection. Parents must be intentional about their personal healing so that they do not pass unresolved wounds to children. Organisations must prioritise emotionally intelligent leadership, employee wellness, leadership coaching, conflict resolution, counselling support, and psychological safety among other helpful remedies.
Leaders must understand that titles do not automatically heal emotional wounds. A wounded leader can damage entire teams. Society must stop glorifying emotional suppression. People should feel safe seeking counselling, mentorship, spiritual guidance, emotional support and healing spaces without shame. The need for healing and asking for help is not weakness. It is wisdom.
Being wounded does not make someone dangerous. Refusing to heal while hurting others does. People cannot change what happened to them yesterday. But they can choose whether pain continues through them tomorrow. Choose to become a victor instead of victim. You do not have to become what hurt you. Healing may take time but, with intentionality it is possible. And yes, healed people heal people too.
One of the greatest investments society can make is not only in infrastructure, economies, or technology but in emotionally healthy human beings. Because brokenness reproduces itself when left untreated. And perhaps the greatest gift one generation can give the next is not wealth alone, but emotional healing.
One author once said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Be inspired, encouraged and challenged to seek healing in every aspect of your life so that you pass on the same. May healing be your portion in this season where you have been hurt. Amen.
Rutendo Gwatidzo is a human capital executive and managing consultant at The HUB HR Consultancy. She is a multi-Award winning leader, transformational speaker and coach. She is also the author of Born to Fight and Breaking the Silence books. Contact details – 0714575805/ [email protected] / Rutendo Gwatidzo_Official FB public page.
