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Rumbidzayi Zinyuke
Health Buzz
As the prostate cancer awareness continues this November, there is need to talk about the stress and grief associated with cancer.
Nothing can ever prepare a person to deal with a cancer diagnosis.
Be it the stress of being diagnosed with cancer or taking care of someone who has the disease and even the grief of losing a loved one to cancer.
A lot of emotions will definitely come into play once there is confirmation that one has cancer. Any form of cancer.
Just being told that you have cancer changes your life and the life of those around you.
Stress, depression and anxiety are common responses to a cancer diagnosis, symptoms and the treatment regimen.
“I remember leaving that clinic in a daze and calling my mother who assured me that everything would be fine. But in my mind, nothing was fine. I thought this was the end for me, that I would not get married, have babies or even live a normal life. So many questions came to my mind,” 27-year-old breast cancer survivor Tendaishe Manenji said recently.
These are the same emotions that most people diagnosed with cancer go through.
Just as cancer affects one’s physical health, it can affect their emotions as well. Those taking care of cancer patients need to be aware of this and accommodate these changes.
Usually anger is the first reaction.
According to experts, it is very normal for people diagnosed with cancer to ask, “Why me?” and feel resentment towards the doctors, their healthy friends, their loved ones and even God.
Then comes the fear and worry.
However, once people accept that they have cancer, they often feel a sense of hope.
While the patient goes through all these stages, the people close to them taking care of their daily needs, helping them to go through the physical pain and the emotional distress, also go through a lot.
With prostate cancer, there are effects that affect both the patient and their spouse or significant other.
The most common symptoms of prostate, include trouble urinating, impotence, losing weight without trying and erectile dysfunction.
According to a recent European study a prostate cancer diagnosis can also impact on their wives.
“Many prostate cancer patients have a hard time, both physically and emotionally, and this work shows that this stress can spill over and affect wives and partners,” professor Hein Van Poppel, European Association for Urology Adjunct secretary general for education, said in a press release.
“This is good for neither of them. Good mental and emotional health needs to be part of how we judge a treatment, and we need to try to ensure that both patients and their partners get the support they both need.”
This shows that cancer can have a chain of negative impact on everyone around.
According to specialist psychiatrist Dr Chido Rwafa, the most important thing is to know how to talk to cancer survivors to allow them to go through the healing process.
“When someone is suffering from something you haven’t experienced; it is an awkward thing.
“You are acutely aware that you have not experienced it so you might find it difficult to start a conversation. I would encourage us to give each other the gift of time. We are so busy these days that sometimes when someone reaches out, we just want them to say they are fine because that takes less time,” she said.
She said when eventually the person opens up, it was important to truly listen, not with the intention of answering but to hear what the other person is saying. This way, you can understand what they are expressing to you.
Lastly, she says “Don’t judge”.
“Judgemental reactions usually shut people down. Learn the art of a straight face even if something is said that you don’t necessarily agree with. You don’t need to show that you disagree with a person who tells you what they are feeling,” Dr Rwafa said.
This makes dealing with a cancer patient easier for both the patient and the carer.
But then when a death happens, dealing with all the emotions can become a challenge.
Losing a loved one to cancer means that a all the emotions and grief that you had suppressed to care for them can bubble to the surface.
If you have recently lost a family member or friend to cancer, it’s important to recognise that you are not alone — and it is normal to have all kinds of different feelings.
Processing grief can be hard to handle on your own so talking to a close friend or relative can help you get through the difficult moments.
Dr Rwafa says it is okay to be vulnerable.
This way you get love and support from those close to you. Once this happens, you can then be able to sit and reflect on your grief, let the waves of emotion wash over you and trust that you will be okay.
After all, Life Can Be Good Again after losing a loved one to cancer.
Your grief is proof that you have loved someone through cancer and beyond.
Online Reporter